100+ Dirty Pick Up Lines To Make You Laugh Out Loud

dirty pick up line

February 11th, 2020   |   Updated on June 25th, 2022

These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won’t earn you a date — but they will definitely earn you a laugh.

Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new.

Just be careful with who you decide to approach at parties. You should use these pick up lines at your own risk because anyone who is easily offended probably won’t be happy with hearing them.

When that happens, instead of getting laid like you want, you’ll end up with a drink sloshed onto your face.

1. Are You A Drill Sergeant? Because You Have My Privates Standing At Attention.

via Gfycat


2. Was Your Dad A Baker? Because You’ve Got A Nice Set Of Buns.


3. Are You A Shark? Because I’ve Got Some Swimmers For You To Swallow.


4. I Lost My Keys… Can I Check Your Pants?


5. Do You Want To Commit A Sin For Your Next Confessional?

via Gfycat


6. Is Your Name Winter? Because You’ll Be Coming Soon.


7.  I Could’ve Called Heaven And Asked For An Angel, But I Was Hoping You’re A Slut Instead. You.


8. Let’s Play Carpenter. First We’ll Get Hammered, Then I’ll Nail You.


9. I Can Tell You’re Into Yoga, Why Don’t You Spend A Little Time Showing Me Just How Flexible You Are?


10. Your Smile Is Almost As Big, Warm, And Lovely As My Penis.


11. Those Clothes Would Look Great In A Crumpled Heap On My Bedroom Floor.


12. If It’s True That We Are What We Eat, Then I Could Be You By Morning.


13. Are You A Raisin? Because You’re Raisin My Dick.


14. I’d Love To Kiss Those Beautiful, Luscious Lips. And The Ones On Your Face.


15. I’m A Bird Watcher And I’m Looking For A Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have You Seen One?

via Gfycat


16. Do You Run Track? Because I Heard You Relay Want This Dick.


17. Tell Your Boobs To Stop Staring At My Eyes.


17. Can You Do Telekinesis? Because You’ve Made A Part Of Me Move Without Even Touching It.


18. One Of My Friends Told Me Girls Hate Oral, Do You Wanna Help Me Prove Him Wrong?


18. The Fbi Wants To Steal My Penis. Can I Hide It Inside You?


19. I’m Not Into Watching Sunsets, But I’d Love To See You Go Down.


20. Do You Have Any Italian In You? Would You Like Some?

via Gfycat


21. I Don’t Think I Want Your Babies, But I Wouldn’t Mind Refining My Baby Making Technique With


22. Someone Vacuum My Lap, I Think This Girl Needs A Clean Place To Sit.


23. Are You A Pirate? Because I Have A Lot Of Semen Waiting For You.


24. Do You Believe In Karma? Because I Know Some Good Karma-sutra Positions.


25. When I Saw You, I Lost My Tongue. Can I Put Yours In My Mouth?


26. Do You Have A Shovel? Because I’m Digging That Ass.


27. I Hope You Like Dragons, Because I’ll Be Dragon My Balls Across Your Face Tonight.


28. Are You An Archaeologist? Because I’ve Got A Bone For You To Examine.


29. Did You Just Come Out Of The Oven? Because You’re Hot.


30. Are You A Doctor? Because You Just Cured My Erectile Dysfunction.

from Sup GIFs via Gfycat


31. Do You Like Whales? Because We Can Go Hump Back At My Place.


32. Your Breasts Remind Me Of Mount Rushmore – My Face Should Be Among Them.


33. Do You Like To Draw? Because I Put The D In Raw.


34. Want To See If You Can Add “has An Awesome Gag Reflex” To Your Resume?


35. Do You Work At Home Depot? Because You’re Giving Me Wood.

via Gfycat


36. Let Me Insert My Plug Into Your Socket And We Can Generate Some Electricity.


37. If I’m A Pain In Your Ass… We Can Just Add More Lubricant.


38. Do You Know Your Abc’s? Cause I Wanna Give You The 4th Letter Of The Alphabet.


39. What Has Four Legs And Doesn’t Have The Most Beautiful Girl On It? My Bed. Want To Fix That?


40. Your Legs Are Like An Oreo Cookie. I Wanna Split Them And Eat All The Good Stuff In The Middle.

via Gfycat


41. I Lost My Virginity. Can I Have Yours?


42. Is That A Keg In Your Pants? Because I’d Love To Tap That Ass.


43. Are You My New Boss? Because You Just Gave Me A Raise.


44. You Are So Selfish. You’re Going To Have That Body The Rest Of Your Life And I Just Want It For One Night.


45. Hi, I’m Wasted But This Condom In My Pocket Doesn’t Have To Be.

via Gfycat


46. Are You A Cowgirl? Because I Can See You Riding Me.


47. Are You The Lottery Lady On Tv? Because I’m Picturing You Holding Up My Balls.


48. That’s A Beautiful Smile, But It’d Look Even Better If It Was All You Were Wearing.


49. Are You A Racehorse? Because When I Ride You’ll Always Finish First.


50. Did You Grow Up On A Chicken Farm? Because You Sure Know How To Raise A Cock.

via Gfycat


51. Roses Or Daises? Now I Know What Flowers To Put On Your Casket When I Murder That Pussy.


52. Are You A Tortilla? Because I Want To Flip You Over And Eat You Out.


53. You Can Call Me Cake, Because I’ll Go Straight To Your Ass.


54. What Is A Nice Girl Like You Doing In A Dirty Mind Like Mine?


55.  Are You Flappy Bird? Because I Could Tap You All Night.

via Gfycat


56. Do You Mix Concrete For A Living? Because You’re Making Me Hard.


57. I’m Gonna Have Sex With You Tonight So You Might As Well Be There.


58. Are You A Farmer? Because You’ve Got Some Big, Round, Beautiful Melons.


59. Do You Need A Stud In Your Life? Cause I Got The Std And All I Need Is U.


60. Fuck Me If I’m Wrong, But Dinosaurs Still Exist Right?


61. Do You Work For Ups? I Could Have Sworn I Saw You Checking Out My Package.


62. Are You A Trampoline? Because I Want To Bounce On You.


63. As Long As I Have A Face, You’ll Have A Place To Sit.


64. I May Not Go Down In History, But I’ll Go Down On You.


65. Remember My Name, Because You’ll Be Screaming It Later.

via Gfycat