Published on December 8th, 2017
What Is Cuffing Season
Somewhere between mid-November and March, a phenomenon known as ‘cuffing season’ emerges. This has nothing to do with actual handcuffs, but more about being metaphorically attached to a romantic partner. As the nights get longer and the memories of summer start to fade away, many of us feel an overwhelming desire to settle down and hibernate, and suddenly even though you thought you were happily single you find yourself longing for cosy nights in with a significant other.
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According to Urban Dictionary, the cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed. In other words, why venture out into the darkness to scour the streets for romance, weekend after weekend, when you can order a seasonal lover quicker than you can say “eggnog latte”?
Here are a few things that happen when we fall into the trap of cuffing season.
5 things that happen during ‘cuffing season’
1. You start feeling a false sense of loneliness
You’ve been single all year but for some reason now that it’s getting colder it’s as though you suddenly feel your singleness so much more.
2. All you start to see on Instagram are #couplegoals
Is it just you or is the world and his wife in a relationship? People who you genuinely thought would be perpetually single – or at least would be single way after you – are now in relationships and are showing it all over social media.
3. The ex slides into your messages
Usually under the guise of jokey insults (my personal favourite being ‘hey, big head!’), but inevitably you’ll receive at least one text, WhatsApp or DM from an ex. It’s as though the sudden drop in temperature to single figures has jogged their memory about how good you were to them.
4. You scramble for someone to pretend you’re dating for the pictures
There is literally nothing to make you crave a date more than a local Christmas market. Mulled wine, ice skating, steaming sausages and chunky knitwear all make for great photos, especially after you pick the right filter. Just think of how glorious your Instagram grim will look – you’ll be the envy of all your other single friends, right?
5. You realise it’s all an illusion really anyway
At some point during cuffing season you’ll find yourself on a night out with your other single friends and realise that actually you’re perfectly happy just as you are.
16 Tweets About Cuffing Season That’ll Make You Laugh & Then Cry
1. Cuffing season means nothing when you’re still single.
ITS CUFFING SEASON!!
and it dont mean shit cuz im still gon be single lmao
— vince (@VlNCHY) 27 November 2017
2. In fact, going through cuffing season single is flat-out unacceptable apparently.
So I’m really going to go through another cuffing season without a bae? Unacceptable.
— Itty Bitty (@Thefirejem) 30 November 2017
3. UGH, CUFFING SEASON IS THE WORST SOMETIMES.
CUFFING SEASON IS HERE AND I’M STILL SINGLE AND UGLY WHAT THE
— Caleb Beasley (@calebbeasley24) 29 November 2017
4. Let’s be real: Guys know cuffing season is just an excuse we use to steal their hoodies.
Y’all ain’t slick “shooting your shot”
It’s cold outside, which means it’s cuffing season, WHICH means you just wanna steal my hoodies.
I stay woke.
— Broderick Hunter (@BroderickHunter) 1 December 2017
5. Honestly, who needs a bae when you can get a body pillow? No, seriously, I’m asking.
LADIES: it’s getting chilly out there, I️ know, but let’s put cuffing season on hold for a lil. Don’t fall for a dumbass because you wanna cuddle with someone, they have body pillows for that shit…I️ know this because my bf prefers his body pillow over me when we’re in bed
— Loriana Fierimonte (@LFierimonte) 6 December 2017
6. Main reason for cuffing season? Boinking to Justin Bieber Christmas music, obviously.
The only reason I wanted to participate in cuffing season last year was to get boned to Christmas Eve by Justin Bieber lmfao
— Ash Tapp (@ashtapp) 26 November 2017
7. All it takes for this guy to become a believer in cuffing season is SLIGHTLY chilly weather.
Me: I hate men I love being single
*weather drops below 70 degrees once*
— Knight in Sour Armor (AQ) (@jayceekay16) 20 October 2017
8. You may not be cuffing this season, but you’re definitely coughing, amiright?
Cuffing season?? More like COUGHING season let’s keep our immune systems up and drink that Emergen-C my dudes
— parker (@Win) 5 December 2017
9. Cuffing Season may seem like a good idea right now, but wait until it’s spring and you’re paying for your expensive meal at the Cheesecake Factory while your SO yells at you.
To every guy getting the “cuffing season” feels right now, DO NOT FALL FOR THAT! Come april, you will be sitting at cheesecake factory with a $100 bill in your hands while getting yelled at for liking a girl’s insta pic thinking, “how tf did i get here” #ItsATrap
— Tony Harpel (@TonyHarpel) 29 November 2017
10. Cuffing season is just the perfect time to take your chance!
Okay how is it cuffing season and I’m still seeing hot ass people on edm twitter remain single? Shoot your shot people!!
— powerhaus (@PowerhausKieu) 5 December 2017
11. Why go after a human, when you can just stock up on Christmas cookies?
tis cuffing season but it’s also christmas cookie szn & a santa shaped cookie ain’t ever lied to me
— lace (@laceyrashea) 4 December 2017
12. If you’re not a cookie person, go for a warm burrito. Chipotle’s got your back.
Cuffing season expectation: a warm person to cuddle with
Cuffing season reality: a warm burrito to cuddle with…
— Chipotle (@ChipotleTweets) 2 December 2017
13. It’s OK if you’re single during cuffing season! Plenty of time to play with yourself, if you know what I mean…
All my friends are finding themselves lil boo thangs so this will be me during cuffing season pic.twitter.com/cFbuZzNEy6
— valentina (@versusss_) 4 December 2017
14. Literally, what a disappointment!
cuffing season is almost over and i haven’t been hand cuffed to anything yet
— ᵀᴱᴬᴳᴬᴺ (ง’̀-‘́)ง (@CarlsonTeagan) 4 December 2017
15. Seriously, disappointment after disappointment here.
ok i thought cuffing season meant cuffing ur pants to wear with boots in the fall & now i’m sad
— The Drakula (@EllyTheCoolDog) 3 December 2017
16. Did you say cuffing season? Oh, I thought you meant puffing season.
Cuffing season more like puffing season with this asthma up in here. Am I right ladies ?!? pic.twitter.com/vOCDhGQYr7
— Saydie French (@sfrenchhh) 3 December 2017
The Best Cuffing Season Buddy.