Published on December 14th, 2017
The dating world revolves around making the right proactive choices – and this means that if you’re ready for a monogamous relationship, you have to be clear about your goals, both to yourself and prospective partners.
If you haven’t already, now’s the time to throw away the traditional dating rules. Even if your mom is still convinced they work, trust us they don’t. These tips will help you have the best first date ever.
1. Make it a short date. For example go to a cafe. If it’s not going well, it will end naturally after the coffee & croissant. If it’s going well, go for a stroll and find something to eat and turn it into a proper date. Saves awkwardness and money if you date a lot.
2. Don’t get your hopes up, don’t spend so much effort trying to impress the other party that you forget you should have standards too.
3. Clean your apartment, fresh sheets on the bed. If you end up bringing your date home, you want them to be comfortable, perhaps even impressed at how well you have your shit together.
4. Trim nails and plus use a nail file to smooth out the edges.
5. Brush teeth. Floss. Stand in front of mirror and groom. Pluck those two inch stay hairs on your ears.
6. Make sure the other person agreed to go on a date with you.
7. Get good rest!! Eat well that day and stay hydrated. Having low energy for a date is faux pas at best, and a turn off at worst. Bring mints, a condom, and 50% more money than you’d expect to spend. Don’t spend it, just have it.
8. Wear nice looking underwear, just in case.
9. Go for a quick run or get in a weight lifting session earlier in the day. It always boosts my confidence and at the end of the day even if the date goes poorly at least I did something to better my overall health.
10. Know the mood/context of the date. Of course I should always be clean and groomed, but it’s crucial to understand the vibe!
11. Get a haircut. Trim your pubes. Brush your teeth twice. Clean your car. Pull out twice as much cash as you will need.
12. After the hygienic tasks are done, control yourselves from bathing in cologne or male perfume.
13. Smile. Stay confident!
14. Wipe your ass even if you didn’t just use the restroom.
15. Two shots before you walk out the door.
16. Poop, you have to poop before a date.
17. Make sure the other person agreed to go on a date with you.
18. Check that you don’t have a girlfriend already.
19. If you’re nervous just eat a bunch of cheese. It’ll help to calm you down.
20. Make the date somewhere romantic and secluded. Think about it. She’s out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. She looks around her, what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. “Oh, there’s nowhere for me to run, what am I gonna do, say no?”
21. Don’t talk about any of your exes. Even if your date brings it up, try to work around it.