January 28th, 2018 | Updated on January 11th, 2019
1. Hell00o…
I broke up with a girl once because she used zeros in her texts instead of o’s…like she’d text h0w are y0u and it annoyed the shit out of me.
2. Tattoos Are Forever
Her tramp stamp was the name of her ex. Game over at that point.
3. I Just Don’t See A Future Here
My former roommate broke up with her boyfriend because she didn’t like his last name, so she knew she would never marry him.
4. The Choice
One girl told me to pick between my beard and her. Easy choice.
5. What Else Is She Faking?
I found out her glasses had no prescription.
6. ‘O’ Face
He once came with his eyes open and crossed. Just really freaked me out. I could never get the picture of his face out of my mind after that.
7. *Sigh*
The guy I was with kept sighing when he didn’t know what to say. Also he blinked slowly.
8. Baby, Baby, Baby
I broke up with an amazingly hot, smart, sexy, fit chick because she mostly talked with a “baby voice” talk. Couldn’t deal with it any longer.
9. Spicy
First time he took his shirt off I found out that he had pepperoni nipples. He was not fat.
10. The Cereal Killer
He used water in his cereal instead of milk
11. So Much For Being A Team
He picked me last for whiffle ball.
12. “I’m Trying To Be Alone Forever Here.
I once broke up with a girl because she kept calling me while I was playing games. I remember the game. Need for Speed: Underground had just came out.
13. Sandal Shock
One day she wore sandals and I realized her toes were ridiculously long.
14. Chauffeur Boyfriend
I only dated him because he had a car and I got my license so…
15. Touche’
I was dating a really nice guy when I was 21. Unfortunately he used “touche” as his go-to response for everything. The way some people say “yeah” or “dude” when there’s nothing to say, he said “touche”. It drove me crazy and I decided it proved that he wasn’t very smart, so I dumped him.
16. Cold!
I broke up with my first girlfriend because I realized I had never broken up with someone before.
17. Like Having No Eyebrows At All
He had blonde eyebrows and they freaked me out.
18. Only A Monster
She ate her peas one at a time. Who does that?
19. You Have To Draw The Line Somewhere
He wore…Crocs. I couldn’t break up with him fast enough.
20. Jesus, The Cockblocker
I remember getting dumped in 7th grade because the girl told me Jesus told her to break up with me.
21. Did Not…Continue
She asked me how to spell the word ‘continue’.
22. “Drive”
I broke it off after a movie date, because I realized I cared more about the movie Drive than I did for him.
23. Not A Finalist
She liked American Idol.
24. The “Hopper”
He walked like a freaking kangaroo. He would hop from step to step. It was very annoying and eventually couldn’t handle it anymore.
25. Knows What He Loves
She didn’t give blowjobs. Hey I love blowjobs.
26. Ouch
He thought that ‘clairvoyant’ was a person.
27. Makes Total Sense…
I broke up with a guy because he wasn’t ticklish.
28. Thinner Skinned
I broke up with a girl who cried after she had made a left turn on red and I told her it was illegal to do so.
29. They’re Watching
Back in middle school, I broke up with my girlfriend because she looked way too masculine in her yearbook picture. The picture looked nothing like her but I was just worried that one of my friends was gonna look her up in the yearbook.
30. More Baby Talk
She kept baby-talking to her cat whenever we were on the phone.
source : thoughtcatalog.com
