What not to do when you breakup with someone?
Published on October 20th, 2016
Heartbreak is awful. It gives you pain and creates a giant hole pummelled into your chest, with no hope of repair. When a heart is broken, it feels like the end of the world. Genuinely, a hard thing to go through.
So you’re hurt, angry, lost and don’t want to show your face to the world. But if you are feeling like you are the only one experiencing this awful break up, think again.
Breakups can be devastating but don’t make it even more devastating. Here are 11 things you should never do after a breakup:
1. Try not to cherish your hurt feelings
Resentment, as they say, is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy dies: never productive. Don’t your time in resentment and anger. It’s a self-destructive behaviour. Don’t avoid your grief. Talk about it with friends, cry, write, exercise, whatever, but just don’t indulge in anger.
2. Try not to indulge in guilt
Don’t indulge in GUILT. It’s just as unproductive as resentment, which can go on and on and you can keep suffering forever. Now, it’s time to come out of your guilt, accept that your relationship didn’t work, and just move on.
3. Try not to assign blame
Once you blame your ex, you will start to turn the blame onto yourself. Irrespective of who did what, avoid blame game. It doesn’t really matter who did it anyways. Both of you, you and your ex, are just trying to survive this difficult situation.
4. Try not to idealize a relationship that had problems
Try not to give second thought to the decision you already made. Trust the person you were at the time when you made the decision to end it. Agreed, it’s never simple to discover that your relationship, long or short, is over. But it makes it simpler to acknowledge. Since you’re out, move on.
5. Try not to get too dramatic
Breakups can provoke existential crises. Having said that, life is not over, and you’ll have to figure out just what kind of person you want to be moving forward. Look to your future and focus on finding activities and people to enrich your days, or even begin a new venture or interest.
6. Bear in mind to analyze the breakup
Even if you broke up with your ex, you had played a part in the break up of your relationship. You need to understand that you had some, but not total, control over what happened. Now, it’s time to analyze what didn’t work in the relationship. However, the evaluation period should not be an exercise in self-flagellation.Take this opportunity to evaluate what you can learn from the mistakes that were made in your relationship. This will help you as you approach an even better relationship in the future.
7. Try not to repeat your mistakes
So it didn’t work out. Okay. Look at your breakup as a learning experience. Review the dynamics of the relationship and analyze what went wrong, what you could have done better and what you learned. And, no need to give yourself a hard time over what all happened. Just go through all this so you don’t again commit same mistakes.
8. Try not to be self-destructive
And please don’t try to ruin yourself with excessive alcohol drinking, sleeping for days, isolating yourself completely, etc. Even a verbal tirade against your ex isn’t a good idea ever, after a break-up; you shouldn’t badmouth your ex. A little alone time is good for reflection, isolation is a sign of depression, and can exacerbate your feelings of low self-
worth, shame and other mental health concerns. If you find yourself in that place, it’s Okay, but it’s time to reach out and get help.
9. Don’t get stuck
Women are more resilient after a breakup in the long run, according to one study. Get your emotional, personal and financial life on track as soon as you can, put focus on re-building your life. Try things you would never have done before, or things you’ve always wanted to do. Channelize your energy into doing things just for you.
10. Try not to isolate yourself
Get out and spend time with friends and family. It may be hard at first, but it’ll fuel you to look forward to something though the future may seem cloudy right now. Connect with your nearests and dearests. Even if you don’t think you feel ready to see people, spend time your closest friends and family members. They’ll help you heal, and remind you that you still have people who love you.
11. Not to do nothing
OK, so you’re working through your emotions and taking some time for yourself. You’re doing a great job moving past your relationship.The journey is not an easy one, but when you work through your grief and pain,the benefits you get will help you make a better future. Take up the hobby you’ve admired, time to do some redecorating.Do some of your favorite activities that you’ve been neglecting lately, or didn’t’ get a chance to do in the relationship.Take care of your body! A great way to rebuild your self-esteem and grow your confidence again is to start going to the gym. Start a new fitness and diet routine and take all the negative energy you feel inside you and pour it into that new routine.
And, above all, listen to some of the best songs, which will help you get over the end of a relationship.
“I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor
“We Are Never Getting Back Together,” Taylor Swift
“Un-break My Heart,” Toni Braxton
“Since U Been Gone,” Kelly Clarkson
“Cry Me a River,” Justin Timberlake
“Stronger,” Britney Spears
Video Source: YouTube.com