October 3rd, 2017 | Updated on May 9th, 2023
Real talk: Dating is sometimes harder than it should be. After countless dinners and drinks, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and resign to nights of forever watching Netflix alone in your bed. But when dating is done right, it can be amazing, and those great dates often lead to great relationships.
So consider this your dating playbook, with all the information you need to survive the first date and make sure there’s a second one.
1. Go Beyond the bar Scene
Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn’t it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run? You never know where you’re going to meet the next person you date, so if you’re only looking in one spot (like that bar where you’re a regular) then you’re missing out on tons of possible partners. We know plenty of couples who have met while standing in line at the grocery store, a Target parking lot, even a naked reality show. The takeaway? Love can crop up anywhere, so get out there and keep your eyes open.
2. Let Your Friends Set You Up
No one loves you quite like your friends do, so let them set you up with someone that they can vouch for. “It’s better for single people to meet through friends because there’s a familiarity and comfort that goes with that,” says behavioral scientist Christie Hartman, Ph.D. “A friend setting you up means the guy is ‘vetted’ to some extent.” So let them play matchmaker—but first, lay down some rules. Make it clear ahead of time that the way the date goes is totally not a reflection on your friend, or you, or the guy. Hey, sometimes chemistry is there, and sometimes it isn’t. So unless your friend is Patti Stanger, remind her that it’s no one’s fault if this goes horribly wrong. (But if it goes totally right, you should probably buy her a drink).
3. Consider Dating Your Friends
The term “friend zone” should totally be banished—in part, because your friends can sometimes make the best dates. Think about it: Someone you’re already friends with is likely to have similar values, to know your background and your family, and to make you feel ultra comfortable with them. Plus, friendship is the foundation for any relationship, so having that bond established can be key, says relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
4. Choose the Right Dating Site
The Internet is a beautiful thing: It brought us Twitter, cat videos, Orange Is the New Black, and now, it can bring you love. But when you’re ready to make the plunge into online dating, how do you decide which site to sign up for? We found a handy cheat sheet from digital matchmaker Julie Spira, who gave us the lowdown on 12 popular dating sites. Think about what it is you want out of an online dating experience—A hookup? A boyfriend? A marriage?—then choose the site that matches your interests, so you’re not just wasting your time online (that’s what the cat videos are for).
5. Focus On First Impressions
First dates can be overwhelming, so streamline your focus into making the first few moments count. It takes only 12 minutes for you to decide if you’re interested in the other person (and for them to decide if they dig you) so bring your A-game the second you arrive. To make a stellar first impression, make eye contact, smile, and focus on what he’s saying, according to Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room: The Ultimate Guide to Making Lasting Connections—In Person and Online. And don’t forget to check in with yourself, too! You might be so focused on making a flawless first impression that you forget to ask yourself if you’re even into the other person.
6. Don’t Play It Cool on a Date
We’ve all been told that guys love the chase, but according to research, that’s not exactly true. One study showed that men are more attracted to responsive women, and women who were kind and warm right off the bat. That doesn’t mean being over-the-top eager—you don’t have to laugh at his jokes if they’re not funny—but it’s definitely OK to respond to that text in a timely manner, or tell him how much fun you’re having. Being kind is definitely a turn on, so forget what you’ve been told about playing it ice-cold.
7. Avoid Oversharing
Word-vomit happens, but one way to tank a first date is to admit how long you spent Google stalking him or accidentally blurt out, “Woah, you look exactly like my ex!” The censorship walls can come down after a little bit, but try to steer clear of these awkward comments on a first date, or we’re guessing there won’t be a second one.
8. Pay Attention to HOW You Talk to Each Other
It’s more than just what you’re saying—it’s how you say it. One study showed that when men talk to a woman they find attractive, they tend to vary their vocal pitch from high to low tones (in a sing-songy way). If you’re looking to analyze the long-term potential, pay attention to the types of words you both use. Another study suggested that people who use the same function words (maybe you both say “quite” and “tons” a lot) are more likely to couple up and stay together.
9. Follow Their Gaze
Is it love at first sight? It depends on where their eyeballs land. Research suggests that when someone feels a romantic connection, his or her gaze tends to linger on the other person’s face. When they just feel sexual desire, their eyes tend to wander around the person’s body. During the next date you’re on, follow their gaze. If he’s staring into your eyes all night, there’s a good chance he’s really into you.
10. Don’t Let Your Friends Ruin Your Vibe
Getting your friends’ (and family’s) opinion on your new beau is essential, but if you ask too soon, it could color your own feelings. One study showed that when opinions were framed differently—saying that “seven out of ten” people liked your date, versus “three out of ten” people didn’t like him—it can seriously affect our own evaluation. So you might want to avoid asking for an outside opinion until you’ve gotten the chance to make one yourself.
11. If You’re Not Into Him, Move On
Dating someone who you’re just not into is a total waste of time. Be realistic with yourself: Are you embarrassed to call him your “boyfriend”? Has he met your friends? Would you rather be watching Netflix than talking to him? Are you only with him for fear of being single? These are all good signs that you’re just not that into him, and you should peace out of this relationship. Trust us, being single is way better than being in a crappy relationship.
12. If At First You Don’t Succeed? Try, Try Again
We heard about a woman who committed to going on 100 dates this summer as a way of learning more about herself, and what she wants in a partner. While we don’t think you necessarily need to do a dating marathon, it’s often important to just get out there—especially if you feel like you’re in a rut. So when your date goes awry, or that relationship turns out to be a dud, don’t give up. Your next amazing date might be right around the corner.
Check Out Below What Other Person Say About Dating and Relationships
In the beginning of a relationship, you are on your best behaviour and put in a lot of effort. Then you feel like you’ve won them and you stop trying as hard. If you date them like they’re new to you at all stages of the relationship, it not only makes them feel more appreciated, it also makes you more attracted to them. Read More…
When Rick and I first started dating, I had all the power. He’s a lot younger than me, but neither of us had ever been in a long term relationship. As an avid watcher of many failed and successful relationships, I had seen enough to know some really powerful “do’s and don’t’s”, but otherwise I was winging it. Some things that I learned over time: Read More…
Knowing beyond a doubt that your partner is good, deserving, and well-meaning. Put them on a pedestal just a little bit. Adore them. Forgive them. A mutual sense of equal footing between the two people. Never look down, and never be looked down upon. Never carry the whole partnership, and never allow yourself to be carried. Willingness to listen, even when it’s hard. Willingness to talk, even when it’s hard. Read More…
Alright, We have a number of references to this kind of thing. AKA Soul Mates. One needs knowledge about relationships and then the wisdom of having gone through enough with a partner, to learn healthy processes. Do your homework, do your homework, do your homework. Read More…
It doesn’t sound romantic, but I believe the key to a successful, longterm relationship is learning how to negotiate lovingly. In order to do this, of course it means you both have to communicate with clarity, respect and flexibility. It also requires that both people understand that your lives together are going to be a constant series of cooperative exchanges that accomodate and support the differences between you. Read More…
I knew that some day when I grew up, I would get married with a man who treated me like a queen. He should worship the ground I walked on, cater to my every wish and do my bidding. While I knew how he should treat me, I didn’t take into consideration how I would treat him. I didn’t consider that all that doting might get old if I came to expect it, instead of appreciate it. Read More…
The most two important things in a relationship is compromise and communication. Compromise: Relationships are about not only taking, but also giving. If you find yourself not giving very much, or feeling resentful of how much you give and how little you receive back, you may be in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are giving. Read More…
Make sure you express your love visually, that is giving presents, by telling him or her how much they mean to you and hugs. Read More…
Maybe you wonder why chat with so many girls without any good progress? maybe it`s just because you used the wrong way not you don`t have charisma. One of the most common complaints I hear from men is that women frequently misrepresent themselves in their photos by using old photos or by cropping them in too tightly so you don’t realize they are of a certain body type. Obviously men do this as well; I’ve just heard this complaint more frequently from men than from women. He told me it wasn’t that he minded she was overweight; he was upset by the fact that she lied to him. Read More…
A couple is like two wheels of a cart. If even one does have problem then no one can ever pull the cart that smoothly . So, to make a relationship beautiful, run it smoothly and to win each-other’s heart one should pay attention towards following points: Coordination , Tolerance , Conversation , Time, Suggestion, Help, Praise. Read More…
Friendship, trust, respect, honesty, loyalty, similar values and beliefs. Strangely, it’s not as important to have similar interests, as long as each person respects, understands and accepts that it is possible to like different things. It is important that you can communicate and listen to each other, without judgement, blame or assumptions. Read More…
The people that I have come across who have the most successful relationships have one common point: Both partners have a life outside of the relationship. Being in a relationship or even being married doesn’t meant that you have to spend every waking moment together. Everyone needs some rest from each other, or you will eventually start getting on each other’s nerves! Read More…
Its the foundation of a relationship that makes it worth successful. Right from the beginning of a relationship, there should be no lies, over possessiveness and insecurity for each other, apart from love. Because no matter how much you mend things over the years and stretch it to a long term relationship, there will be times when the past memories flood your mind and you will want to start everything afresh , but obviously that’s not possible with the same person. Read More…
Love, respect for each other, and accepting them for who they are and what they are, could be some of the standard relationship mantras. But the key is to also understand what is it that you should NOT be doing while in a relationship. Read More…
What is a relationship? Think of it. What is a relationship? In this moment, if you and I are in complete contact with each other, then we are ‘relating’ with each other. And this ‘relating’ is the action of intelligence. The action is happening in this moment. Right? Whereas, if you and I are bonded to each other because of some element of the past – I was born in your home, or you were born in my neighborhood – then that is ‘relationship’. And relationship has no love, has no joy in it. Because there is no love in our relationships, they make us fake. Read More…
source: quora.com, womenshealthmag.com, Images : thoughtcatalog.com
