Updated on November 23rd, 2019
1. What Do You Call A Bear With No Ears?
2. What Kind Of Car Does Mickey Mouse’s Wife Drive?
A minnie van, of course.
3. Why Did The Man Get Fired From The Orange Juice Factory?
Lack of concentration.
4. Why Didn’t The Orange Win The Race?
It ran out of juice.
5. Where Do Pencils Like To Vacation?
6. How Do You Catch A Whole School Of Fish?
7. Where Do Young Cows Eat Lunch?
In the calf-ateria.
8. Why Should You Never Trust A Pig With A Secret?
‘Cause it’s bound to squeal.
9. What Did The Left Eye Say To The Right Eye?
Between us, something smells!
10. What Do You Get From An Over-coddled Cow?
11. Why Didn’t The Skeleton Go To The Dance?
He had no body to dance with.
12. Why Do Dragons Sleep During The Day?
So they can fight knights!
13. Why Couldn’t The Pony Sing?
She was a little hoarse.
14. What Kind Of Kitten Works For The Red Cross?
A first-aid Kit.
15. How Do You Talk To A Giant?
Use big words!
16. Knock Knock.
Thanks, but I’d rather have some peanuts.
17. Why Is It So Windy Inside A Sports Arena?
All those fans.
18. What Kind Of Bird Is Always Depressed?
19. Why Was The Belt Arrested?
Because it was holding up some pants.
20. What Type Of Dog Keeps The Best Time?
A watch dog!
21. What’s A Tornado’s Favorite Game To Play?
22. What Did The Nose Say To The Finger?
Quit picking on me!
23. Why Do Bees Have Such Sticky Hair?
Because they love their honeycomb.
24. What Do You Call It When A Dinosaur Crashes His Car?
25. What Time Should You Go To The Dentist?
26. Why Is A Fish So Easy To Weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
27. Why Did The Man Run Around His Bed?
He was trying to catch up on sleep!
28. Where Do Cows Go For Entertainment?
To the moo-vies!
29. Knock Knock.
Is there an owl in here?
30. What Did One Toilet Say To The Other?
You look a bit flushed.
31. How Do You Know If A Vampire Has A Cold?
She starts coffin.
32. Why Did The Little Girl Bring A Ladder To School?
She thought she was ready for high school.
33. How Do You Get A Squirrel To Like You?
Just act like a nut!
34. What’s Irish And Stays Out All Night Long?
35. Why Did The Kid Cross The Playground?
To get to the other slide.
36. How Do Rabbits Travel?
37. Why Did Charlie Go Out With A Prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!
38. Why Do Seagulls Live By The Sea?
Cause if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!
39. What Did The Hat Say To The Scarf?
You hang around, and I’ll go ahead.
40. Why Did The Picture Go To Jail?
It was framed!
41. What Washes Up On Tiny Beaches?
42. What Did One Volcano Say To The Other?
I lava you!
43. What Did One Ocean Say To The Other?
Nothing. It just waved.
44. What Does A Spider’s Bride Wear?
A webbing dress.
45. What Do Elves Learn In School?
46. What Does A Farmer Call A Cow That Has No Milk?
An udder failure.
47. What Do You Call A Sleeping Bull?
48. What Is A Rabbit’s Favorite Dance Style?
49. What Kind Of Tree Fits In Your Hand?
A palm tree.
50. What Do You Call A Duck That Gets All A’s?
A wise quacker.
51. What Has Four Wheels And Flies?
A garbage truck.
52. What Did The Puppy Say When He Sat On Sandpaper?
53. What Did One Horse Say To The Other At The Dance?
You mustang-o with me.
54. How Do You Find Will Smith When He’s Lost In The Snow?
You just look for fresh prints.
55. Why Did The Superhero Flush The Toilet?
Because it was his doody.
56. Why Was The Broom Late?
It over swept!
57. What Has Ears But Can’t Hear A Thing?
58. Why Did The Cookie Go To The Hospital?
Cause he was feeling crummy.
59. What Do You Call A Dinosaur When It’s Asleep?
60. How Do You Fix A Cracked Pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
61. How Do Mountains Stay Warm In Winter?
62. Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
To get the chinese daily. [Pause] do you get it?
No Me neither.
I get The Times.
63. What Did One Elevator Say To The Other Elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something!
64. What Do You Give A Sick Bird?
A special tweetment.
65. Why Do Fish Live In Salt Water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!