Published on May 16th, 2019
It’s sad to say that in today’s society, divorce is fairly commonplace. With 20% of couples splitting within the first 5 years of their union and nearly 50% divorcing before their 20th anniversary, it’s easy to see why.
Going through a divorce can be like being stuck on a violent emotional rollercoaster. Keeping it together while dealing with lawyers and your soon-to-be ex can seem like it’s impossible. You will be dealing with tough emotions including grief, anger and a sense of failure and it can be easy to make hasty decisions.
If you have decided to end your marriage, there are a few things that you can do to be proactive during the adjustment period. Talk to a family law specialist and get your legal affairs in order, and be mindful to help you keep your divorce as civil as possible.
1. Make The Decision Together
There is nothing more difficult than being blindsided by the end of a relationship. It does happen, but more often than not, there are plenty of signs leading up to a separation.
When the time comes where it feels like there is no saving the marriage, it is important to try to make the decision to divorce together. This can help eliminate the heavier feelings of shock and blame. Taking a proactive course together can help the divorce process go smoother.
2. Make Your Family The Priority
Divorce is tougher on children than on any other family members. Make a commitment with your partner to keep the emotional welfare of your family at the forefront of all decision making. The process of divorce can leave children feeling lost and insecure.
Start out with reassurances that although things are changing, the children will always have a family unit to rely on. Keep your discussions about the details of the divorce between the adults and try to avoid speaking negatively about each other in front of your children.
When things get tense during a divorce, it can be helpful to bring in a mediation expert. This is someone who has no immediate interest in the outcome of your settlement and can focus on helping to get the tough decisions made.
If you are feeling like there is a communication breakdown or that you are not being treated fairly, a mediator can help walk both parties through the process so that everyone feels that the best result has been reached.
Going through a divorce can be an emotionally devastating time. It can be easy to fall into unhealthy habits or depression. If you or your children are feeling overwhelmed by the situation it can be helpful to seek some guidance with a counsellor.
A family therapist can help you navigate your new situation and help you continue to move in a positive direction while you adjust. You can either see a therapist on your own or get advice from a family therapist that can help everyone get and stay on the same page as a family.