Updated on December 7th, 2018
Whether you are dating, engaged or have been married for years, losing the spark in your relationship is almost unavoidable. It is no wonder that nowadays, more and more couples are seeking counselling in order to keep the spark alive.
Even as you seek counsel on ways to improve your relationship, it is important to understand that your actions, thoughts and words definitely play a big role in creating a romance that works.
In this article, we will be divulging 14 top ways you can improve your relationship and boost your marriage.
Top Relationship Tips To Improve Your Love Life
1. Communicate with him openly
Ask him what he likes, and then decide
If you might like it too and
Whether you like it or not if you’re willing to do it
Then tell him what it is that you like. This is important, because you can gauge just how compatible your desires are.
What you’ve already learned from this experience is that you can’t assume anything. People so often take the satisfaction of their partner for granted. It’s something you have to work at. Now, go talk to him and both of you be completely honest.
2. Listen to each other, but remember to hear not just the words but the meaning too
Women sometimes speak in code. The best thing you can do to ensure a strong relationship with your boyfriend is to listen when he is talking, even if he is simply talking about his day, or a book he read, or whatever.
Sometimes you will notice he slips in hints about things he’d like to do, or some place he’d like to go, or something he really wants. You can save this information for later and surprise him.
Perhaps he mentions really being interested in something, you could get him a book or something related to that topic.
3. Include him in things that are important to you
This includes when you want to spend time with friends or family. Chances are, he may not be interested, but the invitation alone can help him feel more included and more important in your life. Additionally, offer to spend time with him and his friends and family.
This can win major points in everyone’s eyes, and if you can pull it off with a smile he’ll appreciate it that much more.
4. Be the emotional support
When a situation is difficult, it’s likely that your boyfriend is going to need more emotional support than he normally does. When he does need help or support, make sure that you are the person that’s there for him.
Make sure that you’re supportive and understanding. Make sure that you offer to listen, and do not judge him.
5. Be Thoughtful of Your Partner’s Unique Traits
You will agree with me that it is very hard to find a partner who is 100% perfect. What this means is that your relationship is likely to be affected by conflict and other annoying habits.
If this describes your relationship, it is important that you look for any positive traits that you like in your partner. For instance, if you have a partner who is always patient, it would be helpful to take that quality into consideration by showing a little appreciation for their patience. Showing your partner that you appreciate their unique qualities is a great way to make them feel special.
6. Propose to Create a Ritual for Your Relationship
After having been in a marriage for 10 or over 20 years, it is very hard to still have the same high level of enthusiasm that you had when your relationship started. Lack of enthusiasm can be quite scary, but as a couple, you can propose to create time for practices that will bring that passion back.
For instance, you can aim to strengthen your bond by regularly having breakfast in bed together, having Saturdays as your regular date nights, checking in with each other every other day, the list is endless.
7. Have a Phone-Free Hour Every Day
With the social media craze is going on, you will agree with me that phones are a big let down to relationships. If you are really looking to improve your relationship, then you must learn to tame your habits in as far as your phone is concerned.
As a couple, it is advisable to keep your phone away for at least one hour or two every day and use that time to maximize your affection.
8. Try New Things Together
If your old habits are kind of boring, try out new activities together. Incorporating new enjoyable activities in your to-do lists is not only exhilarating, but it also tends to help you as a couple develop a new attachment to each other, and helps to further glue your relationship.
9. Show Respect for Each Other
For romance to thrive, both partners need to highly respect each other. Couples should make it intentional to respect their significant other because failing to do so only puts their relationship down to a lower level.
It is important that each partner makes it his or her responsibility to fix issues and respond to partner’s desires and needs without being disrespectful.
Respect in a relationship should be equal from both sides or it will likely cause conflict at some point. Here are nine signs of an equal relationship.
10. Avoid Putting too much Pressure on Sexual Performance
Sex is a key component in every relationship and it is not without its ups and downs. You will agree with me that most couples tend to have the notion that having orgasms at the same time is what makes sex pleasurable, or that each partner must orgasm every time they have penetrative sex.
As a couple, it is important to note that basing your sexual relationship on such high expectations is likely to lead to frustration and sexual dissatisfaction.
In order to spice up your sexual relationship, be sure to include other intimate activities like long showers together, massages, e.t.c. because doing so enables you to put less pressure on orgasm and penetration, reduces anxiety and escalates sexual satisfaction. Intimacy is supposed to be fun and special so try to avoid making it an addiction.
11. Work on Your Communication Skills
To spice up and improve how you relate to your partner, it is important that you and your partner master the art of effective communication.
When you’re able to communicate effectively with each other, conflicts become minimal, and you are also able to express your thoughts, feelings, desires and needs in an appropriate manner without necessarily hurting your partner.
12. Always Be Responsible For Your Own Happiness
In order to make your relationship a long and happy one, it is important that you do not depend on your partner to make you happy. Solely depending on your partner’s actions to make you happy is likely to make you feel unhappy and hurt in the long run.
Having said that, it is important that you try and Figure out what makes you cheerful and contented, and then keep doing it in order to improve both your personal happiness and the chances of your relationship being successful.
13. Make Promises that You Can Fulfill
A promise is a promise, and it must be given with the real intention of fulfilling it.
Failing to keep a promise regardless of how small or valueless it may appear to you, can, in the long run, damage your relationship beyond repair.
Breaking promises results in breached trust, and loss of integrity. Avoid making unrealistic promises, or promises that you can’t keep because no one wants to live a life of lies and disappointments.
It is crucial that each partner thinks before promising to do something, and after promising to ensure that you keep your word.
14. Take Time To Learn Your Partner’s Conflict Habits
In order to be able to bond and become a happier couple, you should make it your responsibility to understand each other’s habits with regards to conflict.
Learning your partner’s pattern of negative behaviors enables you to find a common ground, break bad behaviors and to have a productive and respectful relationship. Being able to do this is a good sign of a healthy relationship.