15 Signs You’re Actually In A Healthy Relationship

August 28th, 2018 | Updated on November 14th, 2024

We spend a lot of time talking about how to recognize a toxic person or a toxic relationship, but I think we also need to acknowledge what the right relationships look like, for more than one reason.

A goal in life for many of us is to be in happy and healthy relationship but most of us can also agree that accomplishing that is easier said than done.

The media constantly feeds us the notion that romance and sex are the key components to a relationship—at least initially.

Here are some characteristics and behaviors of a healthy relationship. Keep in mind that with all of these behaviors, there’s a threshold for when it becomes unhealthy.

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For instance, loyalty is great, but at a certain point it can be unhealthy if you are being loyal to a partner who continuously disrespects you. At the end of the day, the below characteristics in a healthy relationship make you feel confident and supported.

1. You Are Like-Minded And Have Similar Values

If you’re in a healthy relationship, you share similar values and aspirations. You may have different personalities and ways of achieving certain goals, but ultimately these goals are the same.

This is not to say we agree on everything or that we’re carbon copies of each other, but we’re like-minded when it comes to the things that matter most.

2. You Admire Your Partner For Who He Or She Is As A Person

You like and respect who they are and how they carry themselves through the world. If you can’t respect the way a person lives their life, let alone admire them, it’s hard to keep any relationship going.

3. You Respect Each Other And Maintain Your Own Identities

You value one another as individuals and maintain your own identities in the relationship. You are respectful of each other’s lives and privacy, giving you time to nurture different aspects of your own life, including your career, family, and friends.

4. Your Partner Is Trustworthy

He or she calls when they say they will and follows through on promises. It’s impossible to build trust in someone who does not keep their agreements.

5. Your Partner Accepts You For Who You Are, Doesn’t Try To Change You, And Accepts Responsibility For Their Actions

Life is messy at times. While it’s natural to assign blame when things go wrong, in a healthy relationship partners take responsibility for things they do to hurt each other, apologize, and make amends.

6. Your Partner Is Affectionate

They’re comfortable holding hands and showing other signs of physical affection in private and in public.

7. You Feel Balanced And Safe

It’s a huge warning sign if the majority of stress in your life is caused by your partner. In a healthy relationship, you don’t wonder whether or not your significant other cares about you, or values you as a person.

You feel free to express your opinions and needs, and you can be vulnerable and honest with each other, even when disagreeing.

If your partner is away or you’re in a long-distance relationship, you might feel lonely, but you don’t feel hopelessly alone.

A friend recently said to me, “You must be really happy. You barely vent about him!” That’s not to say I don’t talk about my relationship with others, but there’s not much to whine about.

8. Your Partner Talks About Your Future Together So You Can Create A Shared Vision Of Your Relationship

Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t include you in his or her future plans. Author Howard J. Markman Ph.D. writes: “Couples can choose to protect their relationship by setting aside time to enjoy each other, renewing their sense of closeness and togetherness.”

9. They Make You A Better Person, Without Trying To Change Who You Are

There’s no such thing as a perfect partner, but there’s something about the way your significant other acts or treats you that makes you want to be a better person.

They do not try to change your character or disposition, but inspire you to continue improving yourself.

If I ask my boyfriend for advice, he gives me an honest answer, even if it’s not what I want to hear. Your significant other helps you reflect on the decisions you’ve made in the past, and think about how to approach situations in the future.

They challenge and push you outside of your comfort zone, but ultimately give you the confidence you need to succeed.

10. You Feel Comfortable With Each Other And It’S Easy To Get Close

In other words, you feel you can be yourself.

11. Comfortable Pace

You and your partner allow the relationship to happen at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. Often times when you begin dating someone, you may feel that you’re spending all of your time with them because you want to – that is great!

But be sure that nothing feels imbalanced or rushed in the relationship. In a healthy relationship, nobody pressures the other to have sex, make the relationship exclusive, move in together, meet their family and friends, get married, or have a baby.

When you do choose to take these steps, you both feel happy and excited about it—no mixed feelings.

12. You Feel Safe In The Relationship

This means that your partner doesn’t have significant mental health issues, can take care of him/herself, and you feel free to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly. You can be vulnerable and honest with your partner.

13. Trust

Believing your partner won’t do anything to hurt you or ruin the relationship. Examples are when your partner is comfortable when you do things without them, has faith that you won’t cheat on them, respects your privacy online (like who you text and Snapchat), and doesn’t make you go out of your way or work hard to “earn” their trust.

14. Honesty

Being truthful and open with your partner. It’s important to be able to talk together about what you both want. In a healthy relationship, you can talk to your partner without fearing how they’ll respond or if you’ll be judged.

They may not like what you have to say, but a healthy partner will respond to disappointing news in a considerate way.

Some examples are having good communication about what you both want and expect and never feeling like you have to hide who you talk to or hang with from your partner.