February 27th, 2019 | Updated on June 25th, 2022
If you haven’t been particularly lucky in love or you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill you, chances are that you believe in some of the most common misconceptions about love.
Buying into harmful myths will set you up for failure, psychologists believe. This is why you should stop believing the biggest misconceptions about relationships right now.
1. Great Relationships Happen On Their Own
While the chemistry may be there right from the start, you’ll still need to put a lot of work into taking the relationship to the next level.
Even the best matched of individuals have their differences. Compromises will be required for harmony, especially when it comes to living together and pursuing large life goals.
You can’t just be passive and hope for that “ideal” match to show up. News flash – it’s never going to happen.
2. To Be In Relationship Is Better Than To Be Single
This mantra has made so many people put up with relationships that are unfulfilling, mediocre or even abusive.
There’s a social fear and a stigma linked to being single, especially past a certain age.
If you’re not getting what you need to be happy, however, you should probably let go.
Some people may actually find out that they’re much happier when they’re single. That’s ok – there are no rules in terms of living your life. Once you let go of the societal expectations and the irrational fear, you may discover a lot about yourself.
3. You Have To Wait For Mr. Right/your Soul Mate
If you believe there’s an ideal person out there you should wait for, chances are that you’ll miss on an awful lot of fun with people who aren’t ideal.
The idea of Prince Charming, the perfect woman, the one you’re destined to meet has forced so many people to stick to unattainably high standard. Thus, anyone who’s slightly imperfect will not be given a chance.
Get out of your comfort zone and opt for a date with someone who isn’t ideal. You can easily find a person to hang out with by trying websites like DoULike.com. Such an experiment will help you find out that you can have an awful lot of fun with someone who is far from what your idea of a perfect match happens to be.
4. Opposites Attract
Is it true that opposites attract? Psychologists have found out that people are more likely to pursue a relationship with someone who shares similar characteristics with them.
True, you could be drawn to the crazy girl or the bad boy that have very little in common with you. Once the initial passion and excitement subside, however, you could be left with nothing to build a meaningful relationship on.
5. Conflict And Drama Are Normal In A Passionate Relationship
Disagreements and arguments will always arise when two people are sharing a life with each other.
Constant conflict, drama, back and forth, separations and getting back together aren’t signs of a passionate relationship. They’re indicators that something is horribly wrong.
Arguments help people surface their frustrations and disagreement. A mature discussion, however, doesn’t involve yelling, cussing or putting blame on each other. Such behaviors are never to be normalized.
6. Two Become One
You’ve probably seen couples like this one – they try to convince the world that they share the exact same interest, hobbies, friends and routines. Two people lose their individual identities in order to become one entity.
This isn’t healthy.
A good relationship is about balance. You should enjoy being together but you should also enjoy your time apart. In fact, me-time keeps relationships healthy and exciting.
You don’t need to lose your identity in order to find great love. In fact, a wonderful partner will encourage you to explore your character, your preferences and your individual goals in live.
7. Happy Couples Enjoy Intimacy At Least X Times Per Month
Society is overly concerned with sex and what people do in the bedroom.
A lot of sex is considered as indicative of being happily in love. Thus, people who aren’t getting it on more than once per week or even less frequently (gasp!) could feel quite dissatisfied for no reason.
There’s no norm when it comes to what’s a healthy sex life. People have different needs, preferences and libidos.
Just because you’re not having sex each day doesn’t mean your partner isn’t finding you attractive or sexy. Faulty expectations are a massive relationship killer. If you have concerns, talk to your partner. An open and honest discussion will give you a better understanding of who they are and how they choose to express affection.
8. My Partner Is My Best Friend And I Don’t Need Others
This misconception is somewhat similar to the “two become one myth.”
There are instances in which people isolate themselves from loved ones when they get in a relationship.
This could be normal in the early stages of infatuation. People who have just become lovers and partners in life will need a lot of time with each other.
Social reclusiveness that continues for prolonged periods of time, however, isn’t healthy.
You can’t put all of your happiness in the hands of another person. In addition, you need a support system and a reality check. In the absence of close friends, you could start normalizing things that are actually troublesome.
There are no rules for building a happy relationship – do the things that you enjoy and learn as much as you can about your partner. Forget about social stereotypes, they could only hurt you.