How Mature is your relationship? Keep reading these tell-tale signs.
Updated on September 1st, 2018
A big factor in the success of any relationship is maturity.
The key to maturity is knowing what you want and knowing how to control your feelings. That part is the subjective bit because we all have different desires in relationships, and we all have different ways of controlling our emotions.
Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First, it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture – the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action which will pay off later.
In a love relationship, it means being able to enjoy the instant gratification that comes with the romance of the moment while knowing the best is yet to be and being patient while you watch your love grow. It is knowing that by working together, the state of unconditional love will presence itself in the relationship and will mature with time. It is knowing that you grow into a love relationship. It doesn’t happen all at once. Mature love partners seek new ways to help each other grow.
For a love relationship to mature, both partners must experience a deep feeling, a tacit belief, that there is something quite special about them which would never have happened had each not contributed to its creation. ~ Larry A. Bugen
Mature love partners learn not to expect perfection in each other. They know that acceptance has its own reward. They never dance around issues. When necessary, they discuss their imperfections, lovingly, with care not to pass judgment with harmful words.
Mature love partners permit each other the freedom to pursue their individual interests and friends without restriction. This is when trust presents itself. Mature love allows this level of separateness to bring lovers closer together.
Maturity is the ability to live up to the responsibilities of a love relationship, and this means being dependable. It means keeping your word; it means living in your relationship like your word really means something.
I am convinced that most people do not grow up…We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias. ― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and to do more than is expected in your relationships. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. They would rather aim high and miss the mark than aim low and hit it.
15 Signs You’re Finally In A Mature & Adult Relationship
1. Being your significant other’s partner isn’t hard.
2. You don’t have to be in contact 24/7.
3. You don’t want to change your significant other.
4. Your significant other balances you out — and even calls you out.
5. Discussing the future isn’t scary.
6. You may disagree, but you don’t all-out fight.
7. Showing your love becomes more important than verbally expressing it.
8. Jealousy is a non-issue because the relationship is founded on trust.
9. You’re in synch with one another – mentally and physically.
10. Being grateful and gracious, not complaining.
11. Having forgiveness and compassion for yourself and others.
12. Being calm and peaceful, not desperate, frantic, or irrational.
13. Showing flexibility and openness as opposed to resisting, controlling, or being unreasonable.
14. Helping yourself, not just expecting others to do it for you out of a sense of entitlement.
15. Knowing there is always room to grow and improve and reaching out for help.
10 Signs You’re in A Mature Relationship
Let’s find out what other people have to say about Dating:
1. Not calling or texting each other every ten minutes.
2. Not doubting each other despite not talking or seeing each other for some time.
3. Not demanding your partner’s ‘me time’ for yourself.
4. Not checking each other’s cellphones, journals, computers (basically anything meant to be private).
5. Not believing anything negative you hear from others about your partner without checking the facts.
6. Letting your partner hangout with his/her friends irrespective of their friends’ gender. Read more… – Harshita Chatterjee
I think the one thing that reflects maturity in a relationship more than anything is just letting your partner be.
It’s important to remember that simply because you belong with someone, doesn’t mean you belong to someone.
Each one of us belongs to ourselves first. We are all our own rather than anyone else’s. Maintaining this sense of individuality and respecting your partner’s space at the same time is important in a relationship. Here are a few don’ts in a relationship that reflect maturity :-
- Not being over possessive of your partner — I totally get feeling protective about your better half, but getting over possessive can get stifling for your partner. For example, calling him/her to know where they are at when it’s late and you’re worried, is fine. But checking in every half an hour just to keep tabs on where your partner is, and with whom, is not done.
- Not monopolizing all your partner’s time — We all love to spend some quality time with our partners. But wanting them to spend every second of their free time only with you is a bit unfair. You may have a life together, but your partner still has an entire life that doesn’t include you. Don’t they atleast deserve one night out a week with his/her friends!
- Not snooping around your partner’s phone/email/social media accounts — Checking your partner’s phone logs, emails, messages, etc. is not done. Coz it just shows a lack of trust between you two. If you don’t trust him/her why are you even with them? To address this issue what you could do though, is talk to your partner about your insecurities that drive you to such behavior, and then work on it together.
- Not dragging an argument — Every couple has their share of fights and arguments. Sometimes, letting go of a a topic even if you’re right, just to avoid a bigger argument is the sensible thing to do. You can instead broach the topic later when both of you are more calm and sane.
- Not making a big deal about your partner admiring someone else —Getting attracted to someone of the opposite sex is natural, and not a crime. Understanding that it’s perfectly normal to admire another man/woman, and not picking a fight about it, is maturity. Unless and until your partner’s behavior borders on creepy, or makes you uncomfortable, or you feel that it’s more than just a passing interest, don’t create a ruckus about it.
- Not forcing your partner to get along with your friends — This is an important one. We usually want and would like our partners to love our friends as much as we do. While that is an ideal situation, sometimes, your partner may just not gel with your friends. That’s totally fine. Accept it. You move out with your friends and let them move out with theirs. You need to remember that just because you’re with each other, doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. You can have fun apart from each other too. Read more… – Reshma Merani
As we get older, the hope is that we also become more mature. As we become more mature, our perspective on most subjects will change. The hope is that this will also be for the better. One of the largest areas of life that this happens in, is love. Self love, love of another person, love of family members and friends – just love in general.
We will experience sadness, happiness, heartbreak, rejection, and about every emotion across the spectrum; some that we didn’t even know we had.
But, this is precisely where the maturity and perspective comes from. Here are a few things that the passage of time will teach us about life and love.
Appreciate the gift of time.
Time is our most valuable asset of all. It is a limited commodity for each of us. Maturity will teach us to appreciate it when someone spends their time with us more than when they spend their money on us. Money can be gotten back, time cannot.
You can handle it.
We all face tough times. Heartbreak, ends of relationships, challenges in life. Things that make us say “I don’t know if I can handle this.” We use this as an expression to define the significance of a situation – but if you are reading this right now then you have a 100% success rate at handling tough times in your past, and you will be able to do it again in your future.
It is better to be single than in the wrong relationship.
When we combine societal pressures to be in a relationship with an often misconstrued idea of our own self worth, the result is usually a negative relationship that we shouldn’t be in at all. As difficult as these relationships are, they can teach us a valuable lesson if we let them: It is better to stay single and only accept the love you deserve, than it is to settle for negative relationships along the way. Read more… – Fakhruddin Kagalwala
Maturity is defined by your action towards handling things that aren’t in your control. I’d like to answer this question with regards to my personal life and relationship with my significant other.
Scenario 1 : Dating woes.
Plans an outing, asks me to wait at a particular spot. I have been waiting for ages.
Me : Where are you?
Boyfriend : I’m almost there.
**Half an hour later**
Me : Where are you?
Boyfriend : I am reaching.
** 1 hour later **
Me : Where are you?
Boyfriend : I am sorry, on the way. Almost there.
**Half an hour later**
Me : I will go back home. It’s fine if you can’t make it.
Boyfriend : I have reached.
** Starts explaining why he was late **
Me : It’s OK, don’t explain. I am glad you finally came.
- Trusting each other.
- Not wanting to know password of each other’s social accounts/email accounts.
- Having a life of your own.
- Not being clingy or overtly possessive.
- Love, not P.D.A
- Giving space to each other.
- Respecting each other’s choices, decisions and people.
- Being understanding. You both should not have to explain your each and every action to the other one, every single time, right?
- Agreeing on the fact, that you two cannot always agree on everything and resolve the difference of opinions logically and amicably.
- During an argument, not saying anything that you might regret later and scar the relationship forever.
- Don’t take any fight to next day. Ending it as soon as possible will never let the differences accumulate.
- Communicate to each other, and not about each other to others. Read more…
This is about my relationship learnings . Fact is that maturity is to accept the fact that we won’t be mature all the times in lifeThough there is a basic level of maturity in a relationship even which is subject to situations.
- When you know what the other person is meaning to say. Else every time you communicate you might end up in the wrong sense and should explain. Communicate with care and ease, keeping the other person in mind and their mood swings.
- When you leave your partner to enjoy their day even when you are jus sitting at home bored. Why should your partner enjoy all the time only with you? Try this and you will thank me, your partner will respect you for that and will return refreshed.
- When you can tolerate all the annoying habits of your partner but still can pull their leg with that .
- Every person will change in 10yrs, all their nature. What stays is their value, so when you can respect what they value/ their changed values and keep faith in them.
- Sometimes a simple “ok dear” should solve the worlds biggest problems. When you both intend to acknowledge first and think next.
- When arguments are not avoided but sorted out by reaching a common point, you can proudly say yourself matured.
- When you know to calm your own self when you are irritated and doesn’t pass it on to your partner. I know it’s good to share the pressure but not with the pressure inside Take time to exhaust your pressure else you may be in the blaming game.
- No one will have all the experiences in the world. When you can look beyond for a different experience/perpective from your partner and can accept it by being open would give you the top label in a relationship. Read more… – Sandhya Murugesan
Some examples of maturity in a relationship are –
1. Respecting each other as they are. It happens when you have spent years together and are now completely comfortable with each other, you don’t want him/her to look like your favorite movie star all the time.
2. You value his/her views and habits even if you don’t like those yourself.
3. You don’t want anything from each other, there are no major demands or expectations whatsoever. Little demands and gestures are obviously welcomed.
4. Even if you don’t talk to each other for long spans of time, you don’t feel uncomfortable or insecure. You feel certain about him/her.
5. You start paying respect to their family, religion, and beliefs.
6. You help him/her prioritize his/her work, goals and tasks according to what is good for him/her, and not according to what you think would be good.
I’ll be talking about Maturity in Broken Relationships as I can’t see any mention of those in any answers.
If you’ve recently broken up from your girlfriend or boyfriend (mutual consensus) or if you had a bad fight and maybe you guys still love each other but you know that somehow you guys are not made for each other, then yes, you need a taste of maturity in relationships.
You can check for the following points and if you can tick more than half as done, then yes dude, you are mature in your broken relationship. If not, don’t worry, life is cruel and God save you.
Note: This is a Checklist for people who have a broken relationship.
- You Don’t Check Their Last Seen Every Half An Hour
- Before Sleeping, you don’t check your gallery and end up staring their photos and die till eternity.
- Whenever a message pop up shows, you don’t involuntarily want it to be theirs.
- Whenever you visit a place where you’ve been with them, you don’t shed tears of the beautiful memories.
- You’ve decided to delete all their Facebook and WhatsApp Chats or already done so. Read more…– Saurav Singh Rathore
Maturity is when you give space to your partner’s individual interests and he or she does the same with you.
When you two put your small insecurities aside and work with each other for the betterment of one another.
Most importantly, it is NOT identifying or blaming the other person’s mistake/flaws, but it is to get past all that and give higher importance to the relationship than all these insignificant spoilers. – ,
- Not expecting perfection in everything, and knowing that acceptance has its own reward.
- Facing every unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without complaint, because we can’t have everything our own way. Things do change when given time, for even time needs time. Just being together is what that matters.
- No withholds, saying what needs to be said, and with love.
- Permitting each other the freedom to pursue their own individual interest.
- Celebrating each others uniqueness, letting him be him, and not forcing or restricting him to do things that please you.
- Understanding that his family is more prior to anything or everything. No taking away family time regardless of what fight and fire has to be put off.
- Not separating him from his friends and their time, not stalking him in any way. No forcing him to reveal his passwords, no controlling his friends list and who he has to interact with and who he shouldn’t.
- Knowing the responsibilities towards your relationship, knowing the limit of your dependencies, keeping your word and promises and living them….as those words really do mean something.
- No trust issues, believing him for once and loving him for the rest of your life.
- Appreciating the gift of time and spending it with love, no nagging arguments, no cribbing old fights. Forgive the person and forget what’s done. Read more… – AkShata Patil
Being able to calm down in the midst of an argument, stop talking, stop trying to make your own point, and just listen to what the other person has to say without getting hostile or defensive. Seeking genuine understanding despite conflict is a big sign of maturity. –
And I’m finally back from a break of almost a month post~edit ban! So yay!
Anyway, Moving on to the question. Let’s just get straight to the point:
- Not being able to talk to each other every day yet the love never dies out
- Not having baseless fights and arguments only because apparently “Fights” increase the love. A myth!
- Being able to understand that the other person couldn’t reply to texts or take calls because they were busy, and realising you don’t have to get mad at them for that.
- Not getting possessive when you realise that she’s been talking to an ex who’s nothing more than a friend.
- Not feeling insecure when he hangs out with his bestfriend who recently asked him out and confessed about her interest in him.
- Being able to understand that you should let him sleep as he’s tired rather than keep on pestering him to text you continuously.
- Loving one and other despite the major flaws and mistakes one can commit in the heat of the moment. Read more… – Rida Fathima
1. Being your significant other’s partner isn’t hard.
Until recently, I always struggled when I was in a relationship. Feelings of uncertainty and anxiety were overwhelmingly normal, while feeling secure in the relationship was not.
Maybe this is obvious, but it shouldn’t be the case. Being someone’s partner should come easily rather than feel like a chore or a responsibility.
2. You don’t have to be in contact 24/7.
Part of an adult relationship is realizing that each person has his or her own world, separate of one another. This means that being together all the time or constantly texting just isn’t feasible, and that is okay.
Source: quora.com, huffingtonpost.com, Images: pixabay.com