Published on April 20th, 2021

#### 1. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?

#### Because they’ll never meet.

#### 2. What can be right, but never wrong?

#### Angles!

#### 3. What did the triangle say to the circle?

#### “You’re pointless.” -Katie, age 8

#### 4. Why should you never mention the number 288?

#### Because it’s “two” gross.

#### 5. How can you make seven even?

#### Take away the ‘s’.

#### 6. My math teacher has a piece of graph paper.

#### I think he must be plotting something!

#### 7. Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?

#### Its parents wouldn’t cosine.

#### 8. Which snakes are best at doing sums?

#### Adders!

#### 9. Why was six afraid of seven? “Because seven, eight, nine!”

#### —Hudson, age 6

#### 10. Why do plants hate math?

#### Because it gives them square roots.

#### 11. What did the zero say to the eight?

#### Nice belt.

#### 12. What are ten things you can always count on?

#### Your fingers.

#### 13. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?

#### It was a mean thing to say!

#### 14. Who do geometry teachers like to hang out with?

#### A small circle of friends.

#### 15. Are monsters good at math?

#### “No, unless you Count Dracula.” -Thomas, age 9

#### 16. Did you hear that old math teachers never die?

#### They just lose some of their functions.

#### 17. What do you call an empty parrot cage?

#### Polygon.

#### 18. Why didn’t the quarter roll down the road with the nickel?

#### Because it had more cents!

#### 19. How do you keep warm in a cold room?

#### You go to the corner. It’s always 90 degrees!

#### 20. Why can’t your nose be twelve inches long?

#### Because then it would be a foot.

#### 21. Why do teenagers always travel in groups of three, five, or seven?

#### Because they can’t even!

#### 22. What did one math book say to the other?

#### Don’t bother me. I’ve got my own problems!

#### 23. If two is company, and three is a crowd, what are four and five?

#### Nine!

#### 24. Which king loved fractions?

#### Henry the eighth.

#### 25. Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?

#### Because it is never right!

#### 26. Why did the student get upset when her teacher called her average?

#### It was a ‘mean’ thing to say.

#### 27. A farmer counted 396 cows in his field.

#### But when he rounded them up, he had 400.

#### 28. Which sea creature can add up?

#### An octo-plus!

#### 29. Why was the math book crying?

#### “Because it had so many problems.” -Suzie, age 5

#### 30. What did the acorn say when it grew up?

#### Ge-om-e-try! (Gee, I’m a tree!)

#### 31. Why can’t you trust mathematicians?

#### A. Their loyalties are divided.

#### 32. Which snakes are good at math?

#### “Adders.” —Ben, age 4

#### 33. Teacher: Why are you turning in a blank sheet of paper?

#### Student: Because all my answers are imaginary numbers.

#### 34. Why is six afraid of seven?

#### Because seven ate nine!

#### 35. Why is the obtuse triangle always upset?

#### Because it’s never right!

#### 36. Student One: I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday.

#### Student Two: She must be plotting something.

#### 37. What do you call a missing octopus?

#### An octo-gone!

#### 38. What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?

#### A tangent. (A tan gent.)

#### 39. What is a math teacher’s favorite snake?

#### A pi-thon.

#### 40. What makes arithmetic hard work?

#### All those numbers you have to carry.

#### 41. If I had six oranges in one hand and four apples in the other hand what would I have?

#### Really big hands!

#### 42. Who invented arithmetic?

#### Henry the 1/8.

#### 43. Did you hear about the tree growing outside the maths classroom?

#### It grew square roots.

#### 44. Why did the two fours skip lunch?

#### Because they already 8!

#### 45. Why was the maths book sad?

#### Because it had too many problems.

#### 46. Which knight created the round table?

#### “Sir Cumference!” -Zayed, age 10

#### 47. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?

#### Pi in the sky.

#### 48. How many apples can you put in an empty box?

#### One. After that, it’s not empty any more.

#### 49. What do you call a number that just can’t stand still?

#### A “roamin’” numeral.