April 22nd, 2021 | Updated on March 28th, 2022
When it comes to horses, possessing a great sense of humor comes in handy, because whether or not your lives revolve around your equestrian mates, there are some hilarious horse puns that we can all recognize, especially when your horse has done lose yet again another shoe, requires the vet for the third time in three days, or you’re drenched to the skin trying to care for their every demand.
This is for everyone whether you enjoy horses, riddles, and laughing at horrible jokes. Do you believe you’ve seen them all? Hold on to your horses, for you’re about to embark on a roller coaster journey. Don’t blame us if your voice is a little sore from all the laughter.
Some of your non-horsey pals may become bored listening about your newest tack buy, so tell them a witty joke, preferably a horse joke! These 50 jokes are sure to make you and your pals laugh out loud!
1. A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks: “Why the long face?”
2. What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late?
A night mare.
3. A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman.
“Yes please,” says the horse.
4. What kind of bread do horses like to eat?
Thoroughbred.
5. Did you hear about the depressed horse?
His story was a tale of ‘Whoa’!
6. Why do cowboys like to ride horses?
Because they’re too heavy to carry.
7. What’s black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra
8. What did the mother horse say to her foal?
It’s pasture bed time!
9. What ailment do horses fear most?
Hay Fever
10. Why do most horses look so fit?
Because they’re on a stable diet.
11. What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred
12. How much money does a bronco have?
A buck.
13. Q: Which side of a horse has more hair?
A: The outside
14. What makes a horse sneeze?
Hay fever.
15. What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis
16. What kind of horse travels all around the world?
A globe trotter.
17. How do you know a horse has a negative attitude?
He always says “Neigh”
18. What kind of food do race horses like to eat?
Fast food.
19. How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof
20. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground?
Some poor horse is walking around in socks.
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21. What do you call a horse that’s been all around the world?
A globe-trotter
22. What street do horses like to live on?
Main Street.
23. What happened to the lady who owned a riding school?
Business kept falling off
24. What did the horse say after she fell over?
Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddy-up!
25. What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
The ground!
26. What’s the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride?
The ground.
27. Where did the newlywed horses stay?
The bridle suite
28. Why couldn’t the pony sing?
Because he was a little hoarse.
29. Why did a man stand behind his horse?
He thought he might get a kick out of it
30. What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
31. What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse
32. What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win?
Sherbet.
33. I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1, and it did!
Unfortunately, all the others came in at midday
34. Why couldn’t the horse dance?
Because he had two left feet.
35. What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
Sherbet
36. What is a horse’s favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
37. What is the slowest horse in the world?
A clothes horse
38. When does a horse talk?
Whinny feels like it.
39. What is the strongest animal?
A racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!
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41. Why did the owner name his racehorse ‘Bad News’?
Because bad news travels fast
42. “Will I ever be able to race my horse again?”
the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, “Of course you will, and you’ll probably beat him too!”
43. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic
44. What did the horse say when it fell?
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
45. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
46. You’re riding a horse full speed, there’s a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. What do you do?
Get off the carousel and sober up.
47. Where do horses go when they’re sick?
The horsepital.
48. How do you make a small fortune on horse racing?
Start with a large fortune.
49. What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A tale of WHOA!
50. “Will I ever be able to race my horse again?” the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, “Of course you will, and you’ll probably beat him too!”
