April 21st, 2021 | Updated on March 25th, 2022
Dads are capable of teaching you everything from how to ride a bike to how to change a tire and everything in between. They offer a steady hand to grasp and a solid shoulder to weep on, all with that unique sense of humor known as dad jokes. You might be wondering what a dad joke is. Dads are great at providing that shudder, pun-laden, can’t-help-but-laugh style of humor.
Dad jokes are hilarious because they are so awful. You have to admit that some of the finest dad jokes are just intended to be shared, no matter how cheesy or predictable they are.
So, after you’ve squirmed and facepalmed your way thru the following dad joke memes, share them with the fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles, or anybody else you know who would enjoy an innocent dad’s attempt at true humor.
1. “I’m afraid for the calendar.
Its days are numbered.”
2. “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?”
“In case they get a hole in one!”
3. “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?”
“They’re both Paris sites.”
4. “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.”
5. “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it’s a soap opera.”
6. “Have you heard about the chocolate record player?
It sounds pretty sweet.”
7. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?”
“Supplies!”
8. “Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.”
9. “What do you call a factory that makes okay products?”
“A satisfactory.”
10. “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
11. “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”
“Pilgrims.”
12. “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?”
“You follow the fresh prints.”
13. “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?”
“Sofishticated.”
14. “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?”
“They’re both Paris sites.”
15. “Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?”
“Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”
16. “What has more letters than the alphabet?”
“The post office!”
17. “Where do you learn to make a banana split?”
“Sundae school.”
18. “What does a sprinter eat before a race?”
“Nothing, they fast!”
19. “What’s the best thing about Switzerland?”
“I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.”
20. “What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?”
“Where’s Pop Corn?”
21. “I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
He said nothing.”
22. “Where do fruits go on vacation?”
“Pear-is!”
23. “A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ‘Hey, bartender.
I’ll have one beer and a mop.”
24. “What did the zero say to the eight?”
“That belt looks good on you.”
25. “What did one wall say to the other?”
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
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26. “How does the moon cut his hair?”
“Eclipse it.”
27. “Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?”
“Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.”
28. “What has more letters than the alphabet?”
“The post office!”
29. “Dad, did you get a haircut?”
“No, I got them all cut!”
30. “Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones.”
31. “What do you call a poor Santa Claus?”
“St. Nickel-less.”
32. “Dad, can you put my shoes on?”
“No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
33. “I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.
The cashier said never mind.”
34. “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.”
35. “Where do boats go when they’re sick?”
“To the boat doc.”
36. “What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?”
“Yellow!”
37. “I don’t trust those trees.
They seem kind of shady.”
38. “This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.”
39. “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right!”
40. “What kind of car does an egg drive?”
“A yolkswagen.”
41. “How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.”
42. “Dad, can you put the cat out?”
“I didn’t know it was on fire.”
43. “Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.”
44. “How do you make 7 even?”
“Take away the s.”
45. “I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.”
46. “How does a taco say grace?”
“Lettuce pray.”
47. “What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.”
48. “What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.”
49. “Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it!”
50. “Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?”
“It didn’t have the guts.”
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