April 22nd, 2021 | Updated on May 1st, 2021
1. “You know it’s illegal to fish without a license, right?”
asks the warden.
2. What do fish and women have in common?
They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
3. How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
4. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall
5. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
6. The officer isn’t buying a word of it, so the woman says, “Don’t believe me? Watch!”
and she throws the fish into the sea.
7. What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing?
8. What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
Take a cod, any cod.
9. Why are fish so smart
Because they swim in schools!
10. Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
Just for the halibut!
11. How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale!
12. What does the pope eat during lent?
13. Where does a fish end-up when it flies?
A magic carp
14. What is the richest fish in the world?
15. What do you call a small fish magician?
A magic carpet
16. Why can’t you tell a joke while ice fishing?
Because it’ll crack you up!.
17. Where does a fish keep his money
In the River Bank!
18. What do fish use for money?
19. The man jumped up and looked around, but he didn’t see anyone. He carried on cutting into the ice, and again, the voice boomed:
“There Are No Fish Under The Ice!”
20. What did one hillbilly say to another?
I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife……best trade I ever made.
21. Where do fish sleep?
In a river bed
22. Where do football players go shopping in the offseason?
The tackle shop.
23. Which fish can perform operations?
24. What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away?
25. If fish lived on land, in which country would they live?
26. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
27. What do you call a fish with a car?
28. What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
29. What do you call a fish without the eye?
30. What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
A big-mouthed bass!
31. The man looked up into the blinding light and said ”Is that you, God?”
The voice answered, “NO YOU IDIOT. IT’S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK!”
32. Why are fish so gullible?
They fall for things hook, line and sinker!
33. Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The bobber shop.
34. Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales!
35. What is the fastest fish in the water?
A moto pike
36. I caught a trout so big, the picture of it was 3 pounds. The negative was a pound. We went into the lake to eat it rather than bring it home.
37. What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.
Three Men And A Baby
38. Why did the husband go fishing on Valentines Day?
To catch his wife a bouquet of flounders!
39. Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Because Robin ate all the worms!
40. What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
41. Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
He had only two worms.
42. How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
By golf carp!
43. Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!
44. Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can’t walk!
45. Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
46. How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
47. What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument?
A bass drum.
48. Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?
Two fish got battered!
49. What is a fish’s favorite show?
“Name That Tuna.”