Published on April 22nd, 2021
1. “Why doesn’t KFC have toilet paper?”
“It’s finger lickin’ good”
2. Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack
3. What’s the difference between toilet paper and toast?
Toast is brown on both sides.
4. I ain’t shaking any ones hand, not because of the Coronavirus… I ain’t shaking any ones hand because y’all out of toilet paper!
5. Why did the toilet paper act so cool?
Because it was on a roll.
6. Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it’s finger licken’ good!
7. I ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Fun Fact, in the country I was born we really used leaves as toilet paper
8. Ran out of toilet paper so had to start using lettuce leaves…today was the tip of the iceberg
9. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
He got stuck in a crack.
10. I got in touch with my inner self today, it’s the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll
11. All this panic buying has led me to using alternative methods for toilet paper…
Last week was tree leaves this week it’s lettuce. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!
12. I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper because a huge rock is headed towards earth and paper covers rock
13. Where did the Terminator find extra toilet paper?
Aisle B, back.
14. Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
16. Why didn’t the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out
17. Its embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down, lucky enough the super market is just round the corner.
18. First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense.
Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!
19. What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
“I feel really wiped.”
20. My local government sent me some free, emergency toilet paper in the mail.
They called it a “Jury Summons.”
21. Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the corona virus?
When someone sneezes every one shits they’re pants
22. After I ran out of toilet paper, a friend suggested using pages from an old book
That worked OK I guess, but now I’m looking for suggestions to clean a Kindle.
23. What dinosaur used boulders as toilet paper?
24. Someone needs to start selling toilet paper infused with CBD oil
To calm all your asses down
25. I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers
The Times are rough
26. What’s the difference between a shower curtain and toilet paper?
If you said “I don’t know,” click here:
So you’re the idiot that ruined my shower curtain!!!!!
27. Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don’t take shit off of anyone.
28. I went to CVS to get toilet paper and they ran out because of the virus.
So I bought a candy bar and the receipt gave me enough to last for weeks.
29. KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin good
30. I just found out why people are buying so much toilet paper.
An asteroid might hit earth in 2020. Paper beats rock.
31. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtan… So your the one!
32. What happens when the world runs out of toilet paper.
33. What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: they both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
34. With the rising toilet paper crisis
Does anyone know where to buy 3 premium seashells
35. How can toilet paper decorate your house
Shit sticks everywhere
36. Why are Australians stocking up on toilet paper in response to Coronavirus?
They think it will have a major impact down under.
37. Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll
38. Dark humor is like toilet paper
Not everyone gets it
39. Why do people keep saying why did the toilet paper not cross because it got stuck in the crack because it got stuck in their crack.
40. Last time I got a piece of ass was hen my finger went through the toilet paper.
41. What’s the difference between 4-layer toilet paper and a liberal arts major?
You don’t find 4-layer toilet paper at McDonalds!
42. I brought my lady friend some toilet paper yesterday.
It’s clear she finally found her Prince Charmin.
43. I was going to make a joke about toilet paper
but most of you probably wouldn’t get it
44. What do you say to an Aussie that ran out of toilet paper?
45. If anyone is still having trouble finding toilet paper or paper towels, I know a guy you can call…
Dog the Bounty Hunter. He’s brawny and some people find him strangely charmin.
46. The Covid 19 Toilet Paper craze was a lot like the Stock Market Crash of 1929
But this time, instead of everyone dumping their stocks, they’re stocking for dumps
47. The solution to the toilet paper shortage is the same as the solution to a crossword puzzle.
One square at a time.
48. I can’t believe I pay so much money per year for toilet paper
It’s a total rip-off.
49. Drug cartels have been turning to toilet paper instead of narcotics for profits
I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean.