April 14th, 2021 | Updated on March 21st, 2022
What good is a road trip if you can’t tell each other 100 cow jokes along the way? Or perhaps you’re planning a cow-themed get-together? These cow jokes are sure to amuse, whether you’re winging it across the nation or entertaining guests—so take the bulls by the horns and go cracking!
Maybe telling cow jokes isn’t pleasant, but if they hear you, just explain you’re smiling with them, not at them. These magnificent beasts must have thick skin. Thick hides, to be precise.
These cow puns are utterly funny, and they’re suitable for the whole family since they’re good, clean humor—no one will object! Make sure to get the most out of this collection of cow jokes.
There are simply too several play-on-words not to have a collection of cow jokes on hand for your next occasion on a farm. At the very least, you’ll have a newfound respect for these magnificent creatures.
1.What did one dairy cow say to the other?
Got milk?
2.What do you call a magic cow?
Moo-dini.
3.Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
He got no beef.
4.What do you call a cow with full armor?
Sir loin.
5.What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee?
Over-calfinated.
6.What do you get when you pamper a cow?
Spoiled milk.
7.What did the secret agent cow say to the other?
Are you udder cover?
8.What do cows read in the morning?
The moos-paper.
9.Why was the cow sad?
She was moo-dy.
10.Where will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
11.What did the coach say to the cows?
“Now get out there and give me 2%!”
12.What do cows play at concerts?
Moo-sic!
13.Why can’t cows wear shoes?
Because they lactose.
14.What do you call a cow in your backyard?
A lawn-mower.
15.What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk?
A milk dud.
16.Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
17.You know what they say about cows…they’re outstanding in their field.
18.Why did the cow go to the spa?
She really needed some re-hoove-ination!
19.Where did the bull lose all his money?
At the cow-sino!
20.What does the farmer say to the cows at night?
It’s pasture bedtime.
21.Which cow is the best dancer?
The one with the best moooves!
22.Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
23.What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?
Roost beef.
24.Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
They lactose.
25.Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer’s hands were cold.
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26.How did the cow know he was noble?
He was a Sir Loin.
27.Why did the Secret Service surround the president with dozens of cows?
They were trying to beef up security.
28.What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
29.What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull dozer.
30.What did the Auntie cow say to her niece?
“You’re so udderly cute!”
31.What did the cow say to all her friends?
“I am legen-dairy.”
32.What did the cow say to its therapist?
“I feel seen but not herd.”
33.What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
“It’s pasture bedtime.”
34.What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow?
Udder nonsense.
35.What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?
Hound beef.
36.What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A baaaaaaad mooooood.
37.What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom.
38. What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
Laughing stock.
39.How do farmers count their cows?
They use a cowculator.
40.What do cows eat for breakfast?
Moosli.
41.What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
42.What do cows eat for breakfast?
Moosli.
43.How do farmers count their cows?
They use a cowculator.
44.What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
Laughing stock.
45.What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom.
46.What did the cow and bull do for their first date?
Dinner and a moooovie
47.What do you call a cow that’s laying down?
Ground beef.
48.What did the cow say to the cheese?
“I am your father.”
49.Why do cows read magazines?
They love the cattle-logs.
