April 15th, 2021 | Updated on December 16th, 2021
1. Why do you have to watch out for ninjas’ farts?
They’re silent — but deadly.
2. Why did everyone notice when Bill Gates farted in the Apple store?
Because they didn’t have any Windows.
3. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
Farts are like children.
4. You don’t mind your own, but you can’t stand other people’s.
A bunny fart!
5. What happens when you make a bean and onion casserole?
Tear gas.
6. Do you know what’s scary?
Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.
7. What do you call a ghost fart?
A spirit bomb.
8. I got fired from my job delivering leaflets on flatulence awareness.
Unfortunately, I let one rip.
9. I didn’t fart…
My butt likes you so much it blew a kiss.
10. Two flies are sitting on a piece of poop.
One fly farts and the other fly cries, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”
11. What do you get when an aristocrat farts?
A noble gas.
12. Why won’t the skeleton fart in public?
He doesn’t have the guts.
13. I just rang the Incontinence Hotline.
The woman said, “Can you hold, please?”
14. What is invisible and smells like worms?
A bird’s fart.
15. I farted at work yesterday, and my coworker opened the window.
It must have been bad — we’re flight attendants.
16. What’s the ideal weight of a fart?
Zero pounds. If it’s anything more, you’re in trouble.
17. My partner said he wanted to heat things up in bed.
So I farted under the sheets.
18. Why did the man stop telling fart jokes?
He was told that his jokes stink.
19. I didn’t fart in front of my partner until we got married.
Her family wasn’t too impressed.
20. Did you hear the one about the blind and heartbroken skunk?
She fell in love with a fart.
21. Why did the chicken cross the road?
She didn’t want the other chickens to notice that she farted.
22. Why should you never fart on an elevator?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
23. A fart is like success.
It only bothers you when it’s not your own.
24. Why was there a fart on Kickstarter?
It just needed some gas.
25. How does NASA pass gass?
They fart using their ass-teroids.
26. What’s the difference between a pun and a fart?
A pun is a shift of wit.
27. I just farted on my wallet.
Now I have gas money.
28. Hookers don’t fart.
They let out prosti-toots.
29. What do you call a cow’s fart?
Dairy air.
30. When is a fart joke acceptable?
When it doesn’t stink!
31. Why do farts smell?
So people who are hearing impaired don’t feel left out.
32. What did one pharaoh say to the other when they both farted?
“We have a toot in common.”
33. I don’t fart. I whisper in my pants!
When a clown farts, does it smell funny?
34. Why does everyone always think Piglet farted?
He plays with Pooh!
35. What are gassy surfers afraid of the most?
A shart attack.
36. What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!
37. Why is love like a fart?
If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.
38. Why do farts smell?
So that deaf people can enjoy them too.
39. Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Fart and the world stops laughing.
40. Farting on an elevator is probably the worst thing you can do.
It’s just wrong on so many levels.
41. Why did the fart miss graduation?
It got expelled.
42. What do you call someone who only farts alone at home?
A private tutor.
43. What did the menstrual pad write on the “thank you” note to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
44. Why is it a bad idea to fart in church?
Because you have to sit in your own pew.
45. Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to her farted.
46. What do you call it when someone has a ton of gas after eating?
A fart attack.
47. What do you call a person who never farts in front of other people?
A private tooter.
48. Why do horses like to fart when they buck?
Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas
49. Why is love like a fart?
If you’re trying to force it, it’s probably shit.
