Jokes

50 Humorous Fish Jokes

Humorous Fish Jokes

April 16th, 2021   |   Updated on December 15th, 2021

1. What kind of fish only comes out at night?

A starfish.

 

2. What do you call a fish that is not smart?

A dumb bass.

 

3. What did a shark eat with its peanut butter sandwich?

A jellyfish.

 

4. What do you call a man and a woman who own a fishing store?

Rod and Annette.

 

5. Why did the fish get bad grades?

Because it was below sea level.

 

6. What do you call hunting for fish in Chernobyl?

Nuclear fishin’.

 

7. What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?

Something with a good tune-a!

 

8. Why shouldn’t you ask a fish vendor for help?

Because they’re selfish.

 

9. How do shellfish get to the hospital?

In a clambulance.

 

10. When should you be afraid of an underwater plant?

When it’s anemone.

 

11. What did the shark say after eating a clownfish?

That tasted a little bit funny!

 

12. I’ve bought an underwater craft in a bright green color.

It’s sublime!

 

13. What do whales have for dinner?

They eat fish and ships.

 

14. Did you know that there are more airplanes underwater

…than submarines in the sky?

 

15. What does every fisherman want?

A gillfriend.

 

16. Who eats at underwater restaurants?

Scuba diners

 

17. What do you call a fish with two legs?

A two-knee fish.

 

18. So I started this new underwater band-project

I hope you guys like aquapella!

 

19. How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish?

Clamouflage!

 

20. What’s the head of the underwater mafia called?

The Codfather.

 

21. What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught.

 

22. What do you call a dog underwater?

A Scooby diver.

 

23. Why are fish so easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

 

24. Why did the scuba divers start laughing when they got near the coral reefs?

They saw a clownfish

 

25. A little fish walks into a bar. The bartender asks the fish “What can I get you?”

The little fish replies (gasping) “Water! I need water!”

 

26. Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

 

27. Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut?

The bobber shop.

 

28. Where do fish keep their money?

In the river bank

 

29. How do you talk to a fish?

You drop it a line.

 

30. What do you call a rich fish?

Goldfish

 

31. Two fish swam into a concrete wall.

One turns to the other and says “Dam!”

 

32. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

 

33. There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant.

One fish got battered!

 

34. What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.

 

35. Where does a fish keep its money?

A riverbank.

 

36. I am alive without breath and cold as death. I am never thirsty but always drinking. What am I?

Fish.

 

37. What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?

A big-mouthed bass.

 

38. What do you call a lazy Crawfish?

A slobster.

 

39. Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?

Because Robin ate all the worms!

 

40. Ever see a fish spend a fortune trying to catch a human?

Two parrots are sitting on a perch.

 

41. Which country do fish like to go for a vacation?

Finland.

 

42. One bird asks the other one “Does something smell a little fishy to you?”

Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says…

 

43. What do you get if you cross a fishing rod with a P.E sock?

A hook, line, and stinker!

 

44. “How do you drive this thing?”

I have always admired fishermen.

They are reel men.

 

45. What kind of fish eats mice?

A catfish.

 

46. What do you call a fish with lots of money?

A goldfish.

 

47. Why is fishing such good business?

The net profits.

 

48. Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean?

He thought he saw a catfish.

 

49. Where do fish go to borrow money?

A loan-shark.

 

50. What do you call a fish that practices medicine?

A Sturgeon.