Jokes

50 Best r/jokes Which Are Really Funny

r/jokes

Published on April 16th, 2021

1. An original joke walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Welcome to /r/Jokes! I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” Original joke replies…

“Don’t worry. Within a week or two, I’ll be a regular here!”

 

2. I made a coronavirus joke on r/Jokes

It went viral

 

3. Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?

Cause they’re dead.

 

4. Sad News: The founder of /r/jokes has passed away

RIP Larry Tesler, the UI designer that created Cut, Copy and Paste, died age 74

 

5. Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/Jokes, but today she is absent.

So a subreddit

 

6. ‌‌I wa‌‌s crossin‌‌g th‌‌e stree‌‌t whe‌‌n ‌‌I suddenl‌‌y notice‌‌d m‌‌y e‌‌x gettin‌‌g ru‌‌n ove‌‌r b‌‌y ‌‌a bus‌‌. ‌‌I though‌‌t t‌‌o myself‌‌, “Wow‌‌! Tha‌‌t coul‌‌d hav‌‌e bee‌‌n me!”

The‌‌n ‌‌I remembere‌‌d ‌‌I can’‌‌t driv‌‌e ‌‌a bus

 

7. r/Jokes Has 20 Million subscribers!

It’s amazing what 7 jokes can do.

 

8. What is faster than a calculator?

A Calcu-now.

 

9. 10+10 and 11+11 equal the same number.

10 + 10 equals twenty.

11 + 11 equals twenty, too!

 

10. I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself…

my wife rushes through the room and shouts, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK”

 

11. Tiger Woods issues statement to Reddit regarding tasteless comments about his emergency knee surgery in r/Jokes.

“I won’t stand for this”

 

12. Did you know R Kelly had a chance to become a professional Hockey player?

The only problem was.. is that he never wanted to score after the first period.

 

13. I’ve been a follower of r/jokes for a long time so here are some of my favorite ones:

One, uno, eins, un.

 

14. How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

It depends on whether you’ll see them later or in a while.

 

15. r/jokes is the most environment-friendly sub on Reddit

It is made of 97% recycled material.

 

16. People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Iberia.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

 

17. I wa‌‌s walkin‌‌g wit‌‌h m‌‌y girlfrien‌‌d whe‌‌n ‌‌a rando‌‌m gu‌‌y whistle‌‌d a‌‌t he‌‌r an‌‌d sai‌‌d, “Nic‌‌e ass”‌‌. Sh‌‌e wa‌‌s clearl‌‌y annoye‌‌d an‌‌d demande‌‌d ‌‌I sa‌‌y something.

S‌‌o ‌‌I turne‌‌d aroun‌‌d an‌‌d said, “Than‌‌k yo‌‌u I’v‌‌e bee‌‌n doin‌‌g squats.”

 

18. I have a lot of unemployment jokes

None of them work.

 

19. My friend once told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”

I replied, ” Yeah well, they were separated at birth”

 

20. I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather

Not screaming in terror like his passengers

 

21. r/conservative is furious that their voices are being censored and that people are picking and choosing who can be heard

“This thread is for conservatives only”

 

22. As an American I’m sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

 

23. Two cannibals are eating an r/jokes user.

One cannibal turns and asks the other,

“Does this taste funny to you?”

 

24. Spanish word of the day..

Muchos.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.

 

25. Why does Greta Thunberg like r/memes?

Everything there is recycled

 

26. What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Cancer.

 

27. What do you call a Christmas wreath made out of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

 

28. I don’t care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn’t going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It’s Justin Trudeau. I’m Canadian.

 

29. How do you lure a pervert? (NSFW)

Just add the NSFW tag.

 

30. Why does Spiderman hate driving with his evil twin?

Because he’s a bad parallel Parker

 

31. If you say AT&T backwards

You sound like a Canadian Bomb Technician.

 

32. I asked my partner if I was the only one, she’s been with.

She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”

 

33. Why is the Loch Ness Monster subscribed to r/gonewild?

For the free-tiddy.

 

34. I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki

I dropped her off at work one day and she just vanished into Finnair

 

35. What rock group has four men that don’t sing?

Mount Rushmore

 

36. My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

 

37. The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from…

….except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

 

38. I was accosted by a bunch of perverts on the subway…

I had to beat them off.

 

39. Our w‌‌hole f‌‌amily i‌‌s r‌‌eally w‌‌orried a‌‌bout m‌‌y g‌‌randfather’s V‌‌iagra a‌‌ddiction.

Grandma i‌‌s t‌‌aking i‌‌t p‌‌articularly h‌‌ard.

 

40. What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common?

Neither one can resist the urge to “crack open a cold one”.

 

41. TIL i‌‌n 1‌‌974 R‌‌ussians a‌‌ccidentally b‌‌lew u‌‌p t‌‌heir o‌‌wn s‌‌ubmarine, t‌‌hinking i‌‌t w‌‌as a‌‌n e‌‌nemy

Oops, w‌‌rong s‌‌ub.

 

42. A Termite walks into a bar.

He asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

 

43. What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

 

44. In 2025 the world is set to change its official language to Finnish

all other languages were deemed un-finnished

 

45. My uncle’s joke he just came up with: What are chocolate’s preferred pronouns?

Her, She

 

46. George R. R. Martin, Patrick Rothfuss, and Scott Lynch walk into a bar

I’ll finish writing the rest of this joke soon.

 

47. What starts with two i‘s and ends with an i and an r?

A pirate with bad luck

 

48. I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants.

You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.

 

49. If The Joke about r/Jokes is That All The Jokes are Stolen/Copy Pasted…

Does that mean when you see a joke, you’ve already Reddit?

 

50. Could you image if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight?

There would be mass confusion!