Published on April 13th, 2021
1. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
The letter RRRRRRR!
2. Why are pirates pirates?
Because they Arrrrrrgh!
3. What do you call a pirate that skips class?
4. A pirate goes to the doctor to have the spots on his arm examined. The doctor says: “They’re benign.”
The pirate replies: “no, no doc, there be 11. I counted them before I came here.”
5. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
6. Where did Bluebeard the pirate get his name?
One day, the sea the wind came and blew his beard right off!
7. Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?
Because the captain was standing on the deck!
8. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at “C”!
9. What’s the best name for a pirate dog?
10. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
11. How do you make a pirate very angry?
You take away the “p”.
12. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?
13. What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian?
Aye matey years old!
14. What did the first mate send down the toilet?
The Captain’s log!
15. How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye
16. Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
Right where ye left him
17. How do you save a dying pirate?
18. How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they ARRRR!
19. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later
20. Why is pirating so addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
21. What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?
22. Where do pirates keep their valuables?
In a jarrrrr
23. What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?
24. What does the pirate say when his leg gets stuck in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers
25. Why’d the pirate join Gold’s Gym?
To improve his booty
26. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap?
He bought it on sail
27. How do you turn a pirate furious?
Take away the “p.”
28. What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved
29. What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
30. What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
31. What does a dyslexic pirate say?
32. How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
33. What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?
34. Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
Because booty is only shin deep
35. Why did the pirate go on vacation?
He needed a little arrrrg and arrrg
36. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C
37. Why’d the pirate go to the Apple store?
He needed a new ipatch
38. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
39. What’s the name of the world’s most frugal pirate?
Barry D. Treasure
40. Why does the pirate carry his sword?
Because swords can’t walk. Duh
41. How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
An arm and a leg
42. What’s a pirate use his cell phone for?
43. Where do pirates go for a drink?
44. What do you call a stupid pirate?
The pillage idiot
45. Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
Because he was standing on the deck.
46. What’s a pirates favorite part of a song?
47. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?
48. What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A pumpkin patch.
49. Why type of socks do pirates wear?
50. What do you call a pirate with no arms and no legs?
An expert pirate
51. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?
52. How much does it cost for a Pirate to get his ears pierced?
Bout a Buccaneerrrrr( buck an ear)
53. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
54. “What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
55. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned
56. Why don’t pirates go to strip clubs?
Because they already have all the booty!
57. Why did the pirate cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop
58. What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
I, I, R, and the seven C’s!
59. How do you make a pirate furious?
Take away the p.