April 16th, 2021 | Updated on June 29th, 2022
1. Who gives baby sharks their presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
2. Where does Santa stay when he’s on a vacation?
At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
3. What kind of cars do Santa’s elves drive?
Toy-otas
4. How can you tell snowmen from snowwomen?
Check for snowballs.
5. How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one. After one present, it is not empty any more.
6. Why is is always so cold during Christmas?
Because it is Decembrrrrrrrr.
7. What’s the best Christmas gift for the person who has everything?
A burglar alarm.
8. What did the first snowman says to the second snowman?
“I don’t know about you, but I smell carrots.”
9. Why did Santa’s helper feel sad?
He had low elf-esteem.
10. What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast food?
Frosted Flakes.
11. What does a gingerbread man use to keep his bed warm?
A cookie sheet
12. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered.
13. Why did the doctor warn the dad not to eat Christmas tree decorations?
He didn’t want him to catch tinsel-itis
14. Who is Santa’s male favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
15. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.
16. Who’s Santa’s favorite female pop star?
Beyon-sleigh
17. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places!
18. What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
19. How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
20. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
He keeps a log.
21. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer!
22. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
Because they always drop their needles.
23. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show!
24. What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?
Snow!
25. What did one snowman say another snowman?
You’re cool.
26. What is Santa’s favorite state?
Ida-ho-ho-ho
27. What does Jack Frost like best about school?
Snow and tell.
28. Why does Santa work at the North Pole?
Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole!
29. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
30. What does a grumpy sheep say when his friends told him Merry Christmas?
Baaaa humbug!
31. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
32. What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.
33. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A chill pill.
34. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
35. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?
It looks like rain, deer.
36. How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer!
37. What is an elf’s favorite sport?
North-pole vaulting.
38.What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Cookie sheets!
39. What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?
A Holly Davidson!
40. How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
41. What does an elf study in school?
The elf-abet.
42. What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A pineapple!
43. In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?
EVERY year!
44. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.
45. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky!
46. The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
47. What is Santa’s favorite pizza?
One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even!
48. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
St. O’Claus!
49. I can’t get to the chocolates in my advent calendar.
Foiled again.
