Published on April 18th, 2021
1. Cutting down a tree with a block of cheese is easy.
You just gotta make sure it’s extra sharp.
2. When the cheese factory exploded, people found pieces of it miles away
There was de Brie everywhere
3. Breaking news: Germany is advising people to stock up on sausages and cheese.
This is starting to look like the Wurst Käse scenario.
4. What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke?
There was a meltdown!
5. What did one cheese yell at the other?
6. Why did the cheese smile?
It’s gouda brie a good day.
7. What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?
All that was left was de brie.
8. Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday?
Because of baby cheese-us!
9. Why are body builders so good at making cheese?
Because they have huge calves
10. Why were mozzarella and feta holding hands?
They look gouda together.
11. What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese?
12. Some dude just rubbed me down with cocoa powder, espresso, and mascarpone cheese…
Turns out he was a tiramassuse
13. What is a cheese diet?
Eating curds and weigh!
14. What do you call cheese made out of clay?
15. What did the frustrated cheese say?
I’m feta up.
16. Did you buy a lot of cheese today?
Yes, I bought a Tunworth!
17. What do you call cheese that is sad?
18. Why did the cheese cross the road?
To feta to the other side.
19. How do you get a mouse to smile?
20. I had a random thought right now: cheese really isn’t that great.
It’s just a curd to me.
21. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
22. Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses?
23. When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying?
When it’s too Gouda be true.
24. When should you go on a cheese diet?
If you need to cheddar a few pounds
25. A cheese sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, “sorry sir, we don’t serve food here.”
26. What is a cannibal’s favourite cheese?
27. What did I do with my cheese handkerchief?
I bleu my nose.
28. What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?
A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
29. A photographer was badly hurt this morning when a huge block of cheese fell on him.
Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him.
30. What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater?
“That’s the most violent book I’ve ever read.”
31. Which is the most religious cheese?
Swiss, because it is holy.
32. Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
33. Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics?
It fell at the final curdle
34. What did the manager yell to the cheese thief?
That’s nacho cheese.
35. Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet?
She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
36. Why did cheddar think the cottage cheese went bad?
37. Which search engine is popular amongst mice?
38. What did Cheddar say to Gouda?
I need to asiago you a question.
39. What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse?
40. What did the cheese say to the other cheese?
I smell something swiss-picious!
41. What would you get if you mixed a dinosaur with cheese?
42. What kind of cheese do rodents like?
43. Where does cheese stay when it’s on vacation?
At the Stilton.
44. When should you keep an eye on your cheese?
When it’s up to no Gouda.
45. Why was the cheese sent to his room?
He needed to mature.
46. What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?
47. Why did the cheese cry?
It was having a meltdown.
48. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded?
De-brie went everywhere!
49. Why is it hard to hang out with a cracker?
He always cuts the cheese.