April 20th, 2021 | Updated on February 18th, 2022
1. NSFW What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I just got laid and you expect me to be hard in3 minutes?!?
2. How do you lure a pervert? (NSFW)
Just add the NSFW tag.
3. (NSFW)So I’m tickling my little sisters foot, and my mom goes absolutely nuts and starts beating me up…
Nobody told me not to touch her until she’s born…
4. Why are there so many NSFW posts
It’s not like we have jobs
5. What did the sign on the door of the brothel say? (nsfw)
“Beat it, we’re closed.”
6. (NSFW) Why can’t vampires accidentally get you pregnant?
A vampire always has to ask to come inside.
7. (A tad NSFW) A friend got really mad at me for smelling his sister’s underwear.
I don’t know if it’s because she was still wearing them, or because the whole family was there. Either way, it made the rest of the funeral very awkward.
8. NSFW What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring there
9. NSFW How do you know when you have a high sperm count?
The girl has to chew.
10. [NSFW] After their wedding reception, the newly weds went to their hotel to check in.
“Do you have reservations?” the desk clerk asked.
“Only one” replied the man. “She says she won’t do anal”
11. What do you call an adult toy that needs assembly? (Nsfw)
12. NSFW – The position of 69 will now be replaced by 96.
With the economy as it is, the cost of eating out has gone up.
13. What do you call a deaf gynecologist? ( nsfw)
A lip reader
14. My high school crush came to my work today and I fingered her. (NSFW)
Sometimes being a mortician is awesome.
15. NSFW 2 Thai ladies asked me if I wanted to sleep with them!
2 Thai ladies asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the Lottery!
To my horror, they were right… we had 6 matching balls.
16. [NSFW] Officer: “The victim was dismembered and sacrificed on an altar of antlers”
Detective: “Dear God”
Officer: “Most likely”
17. (NSFW) What’s worse than 2 dead babies in a dumpster?
One dead baby in two dumpsters
18. What does a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? NSFW
A wet nose.
19. What’s better than roses on your piano?[NSFW]
Two lips on your organ
20. NSFW What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting. Swallowing. Gargling.
21. What is the difference between a Hooker and a Drug dealer? (nsfw)
A Hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
22. NSFW: what’s the difference between a hippie chick and a joint?
The joint won’t get passed around the entire show.
23. NSFW what’d the sodomite say to his spouse after an argument
lets put a plug in it
24. [NSFW] Did you hear about the sun god’s date with your mom?
I heard he Ra dogged her all day long.
25. (NSFW) How is Santa Claus similar to Bill Cosby?
They won’t come unless you’re asleep.
26. [NSFW] “Are you having an affair with the postman” I confronted my wife.
“I’m not surprised that you would be jealous of a guy who is in and out of the house in 2 minutes”. She replied
27. (nsfw) A man can get an erection even after death.
28. Jello (nsfw)
What’s the difference between Jello and a Dead Hooker?
Jello wiggles when you eat it out
29. [NSFW] What starts with “P” and ends with “orn”
Popcorn, you degenerate…
30. NSFW In amazon warehouses be like
31. What does r/NSFW and School teachers have in common?
They both always ask for sources.
32. I did something really NSFW today
I used a revolving chair to get something from the top shelf
33. [NSFW] What is black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white, red?
A penguin rolling down a staircase.
34. Why did the ketchup blush?
He saw the salad dressing.
35. How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
It’s not hard.
36. What did the elephant ask the naked man?
“How do you breathe out of that thing?”
37. What is six inches long, two inches wide, and makes everyone go crazy?
A $100 bill.
38. What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
39. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
She outgrew her b-shells!
40. How is life like toilet paper?
You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
41. What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis?
42. What do clowns get turned on by?
Balloon blow-up dolls.
43. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
44. What do you do if your wife starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.
45. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
46. Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.
47. Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
48. What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
49. Knock, knock!
Open the door and find out, asshole!